I don’t know what to think

[Winterberry]

My pwBPD is convinced I’ve done something I haven’t and he was going to leave me but now he thinks he’s staying. But he still doesn’t trust me. So I’m powerless in this situation. I want to stay with him but if he won’t believe me what can I do?
I’m not necessarily asking for advice on what to say but rather how to deal with how I’m feeling about it I guess?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Matty]

Has he ever actually trusted you?
Has this same situation ever happened before?

[Winterberry]

He’s always had some trust issues but he did pretty much trust me before, now he’s just convinced I’ve done this thing. The same situation did happen months ago, but at that point he was more unsure if he can trust me, now he’s convinced he can’t.

[FarDrop77]

My wife also wanted to leave me because she didn’t trust me (because I didn't jump to her defense when she told me how my mom bullied her). Then, after a while without anything getting resolved, she seemed to forget about it.

I don't think "trust" means to them what it means to everyone else.  In my wife’s case, it felt like she wanted to punish me for a transgression and "i can't trust you" was some kind of narrative to make it okay to do that?  Like maybe at some level she realizes that I never betrayed her and feels embarrassed at acting out, but can never admit that.