I broke up with my ex-girlfriend who has BPD and I'm not sure what to do.

[frankyD]

Hello everyone, first time posting here, hoping for some guidance.

Last year, I met this girl online and we played games together for months. We talked about anything, even about the dates we had. Then one day, it just clicked, I had made some food for her and dropped it at her house without seeing her and she fell for me ever since. We spent every day together for months on and she was aware of her BPD. I was somehow familiar with it and it just went out of control. Over insignificant things, we had fights and at some point she trespassed my boundaries and I told her I was done and that I'd come pickup my things at her place the next morning.

I really regretted my decision after a few weeks and we kept texting casually back and forth. I dropped her some food I made at her door again and we had very pleasant talks, we even laughed like the first time we met. Next day, she suddenly responded very short and kind of rude. It went on for a few days and I confronted her on this and told her:

"If you want me gone, say the word and I'll be gone. I truly care about you and I would like for us to try again, but the ball is in your court. Just know that I'm open to it."

Was it a good idea? Should I just move on? She doesn't have a therapist and won't have one for a while. Is it possible to sustain a stable relationship with an untreated, yet aware BPD?

Cheers,
F.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome It's up to you to decide if the relationship is worth pursuing. Note that relationships with pwBPD can be unstable as you've noticed and require special skills -- see here.

In my experience, it's possible for conflicts to be less often and less intense but they'll still happen.