so where do i start, i met a wonderful person back in december, and we got to chat a lot everyday until we met and in real life and and one thing got to an other we had sex that night she slept witrh me i made her breakfast and all and then she left 2 days later she contacted me to tell me she misses me etc and that she had sex with an other dude, i told her she is free to do so . we dont have a releationship even tho im jealous , she then starteed opening up and tell me she was atracted to me etc , one thing led to an other and she came to visit me again and started a convertation when she told me she was afraid of commitment and the word boyfriend because it ment devotion and limitations but agaion wanted to try this with me, she started living with me getting to know me everyday like a married couple and after 1 month and something her character changed from being a little distant and not so expressive her emotions to a lovely cute kid that everytime i was home she will hang on me hug me kiss me tell me why am i so perfect and so nice , things went on, months pasted we went into vocations together at summer, travels ,
she will literally ask for my attention, when i was gonna come home, love bomb me , buy expensive stuff for the house, she helped me a lot as well financially
left my work on octomber to get to an other job but also have a month free to pass more time with her ….things is a lot of stress overtook me, problems, bills, familly members dying, damaging my motorcycle , i didnt give her enough attention and i was losing my temper, until one day i exploded and shouted at my dog
rememberd one day she told me she is afraid when i get angry and i explained her that when i release my anger is because im angry with life or me not with you i wouldnt hurt you , and she told me her diffence mechanism says 3 things by instict, she thought she did something wrong and wanted to apologize, she thinks she is not enough and the other person doesnt love her anymore or she get scared and wants to get away to protect her self
she asked me whenever i was angry to hug her so she would know everything was alright
never did that , i forgot at that month, i was focused on other things, until she woke up the next day and she told me she is afraid of me , mentally afraid and not safe anymore…that night she told me that it wasnt the right time for her to move on officialy here with me and instantly by instict i got anxious and started telling her why you do this now why you do this like this bla bla and i asked her if she wanted to break up with me she started crying saying i dont want to , i dont feel like i want but i have to , im not safe here
long story short 3 days in a row i was trying to changee her mind which led for her to become motionless on the face and dont care anymore..she left for a week and came and took her stuff one week later, we had a talk she was playing with my hair kissing me all over my face and me with her , i told her whenever she wants to send me a message im here for here, she said ok but asked me not to do it because i would distract her, i didnt understand the distraction thing
i told her we could go out once in a while have a chat , walk my dog go on a restaurant and she said yes we could try that
one week after i couldnt hold no contactat and called her and asked her for a second chance she got mad , she didnt want to listen about our memories she told me you deserve a second chance but i dont want to give it to you and she wants to be alone
we said our goodbyes and she ended up 2 weeks after with a guy she was keeping friendly contact with she didnt want a relationship with him but something casual and he wanted and yet she said we could try and now they are together, the dude is very jealous and a kid in maturity and she doesnt have erotic feelings but attraction and she sympathize him
i got devastated and sent her a message yesterday about how i felt with this and also that she might have bpd and sent her few medical links to read and i told her that i love her i understand her and im here for her
and at the beggining she got angry but then started digging up about this and she is still in contact with a common friend of ours , and told him that i make sense she has those symptoms and then later she said she cannot sleep and she was gonna think about stuff and today she woke up and told him i cannot stop reading his message
as a person with bpd , can you tell me if this is a good sign? is she thinking if she did something wrong with the break up? is the trigger going away? she is still in releationship with this guy 4 years younger than her and he is very jealous and acts like a child but i dont know if she seees the redflags and if she will change her mind, i love her to death , man, i want her back she is the most lovely clever cute person ive ever met in my life…can you shine some light to me?
thing is she changed in one month being depressed and distant from me, sex became less freequent etc untiil as i said i shouted at my dog and she went to the other room and started crying 2 days in a row i would wake up at night and she would be awake and lost into thoughts…until she discarded me, at first she was emotional and crying but then nothing…and now she is monkey brenching into this kid she brought to me as a friendly contact…seems happy and all and when she refferes to me it sounds like im a monster…it hurts so much, ive lost weight , i have depression lost my sleep i started medication to sleep and antideperessants for the first time in my life…im waiting for my available apointment with my psychologist..she damaged me ..and she doesnt even care….i think she has quiet BPD because she never raged, she would keep it inside and be stressed
shall i go no contact until she calms down? is there any hope? in 3 weeks and something she will be coming to my city to go to the uni that is in an other city because she moved out, i was thinking about waiting her at the train station but lets say i had job to do there and i see her randomly? shall i aproach her with a smile and be friendly?
Thing is she told my friend she doesn't know what love is even tho with me she said she first time felt love and she doesn't know how to regulate emotions never felt what love is..also she told my friend that' there will come a time soon that she will hurt the new guy she is with now but she doesn't care.. is she a narcissist or bod with narcissistic traits ?I'm getting confused…she even said she doesn't have bod because some years ago did some test to she if she has any autism or disorder or whatever and she doesn't have bpd…I know that for a diagnosis you need many meetings with your psychologist you cannot take a diagnosis within a day….I don't know what the
PLEASE READ to do ….she didn't respond at all to my messages..she believes her partner must be perfect even tho perfect doesn't exists
She used to be lovely and empathetic towards other people..now she looks like a total different one ..like a new person with no empathy…narcissist have no empathy..she used to be sad with many events and even cry..was tgis all a faking?is she both bpd and npd?Im going mental
she is with an other dude now and also hitting on my bestfriend , her ego and self esteem because many people were hitting on her changed, she is an other person at a point which im afraid, she is not the person that was liviing with me, she looks someone different, she is lost…and it hurts but also makes me angry..and she doesnt goes to therapy and she admits she has problems
I'm running in circles …I never got a clear answer why we broke up…she said that night that she didn't want to break up with me she was crying saying I dont feel like to but I have to and the reason was her mental safety…and yet 2 weeks after she admitted I deserved a second chance , she knows it was a bad phase she knows her new beyfriend is full of red flags she even admits those to my friend , and yet she acts likenshe hates me….it's like this relationship was nothing all the memories the dreans we shared her affection etc its like it never existed ..
