BPD Daughter ruined Christmas … again

[Parents! Get help here!]

15 and counting with the odd break, from her, for good behaviour.
Now with toddler in tow, a recent break-up & ‘nowhere to go’ she still craved drama & misery.
It’s overwhelming. .
OH is done he’s endured enough. Christmas is now cancelled forever … his words.
I thought the child would improve ‘things’ & as a baby I had hope but now is  more demanding, naturally, as toddler.
 DD is struggling and desperate to ‘off load’ at any given opportunity…. I try my best to help but can see through the manipulation and her devious nature.   
I’ve read about BPD Mothers who are ok with the baby stage,  which is mainly task driven but as the child grows and requires more than milk, sleep and a nappy change the BPD becomes overwhelmed ?
Both have left now  & of course we have been blamed for everything wrong with her life, again, past and present.

They really are the most arrogant, selfish, distrustful people to be given the privilege of being born.
My grandchild I feel sorry for and yet she’s got another one on the way & despite her break up she says she’ll manage … Sure !  Happy 2024 … Here’s to another year of misery and broken dreams … or taking back control of the life you deserve

[SwanOrnament]

15 and counting with the odd break, from her, for good behaviour.
Now with toddler in tow, a recent break-up & ‘nowhere to go’ she still craved drama & misery.
It’s overwhelming. .
OH is done he’s endured enough. Christmas is now cancelled forever … his words.
I thought the child would improve ‘things’ & as a baby I had hope but now is  more demanding, naturally, as toddler.
 DD is struggling and desperate to ‘off load’ at any given opportunity…. I try my best to help but can see through the manipulation and her devious nature.   
I’ve read about BPD Mothers who are ok with the baby stage,  which is mainly task driven but as the child grows and requires more than milk, sleep and a nappy change the BPD becomes overwhelmed ?
Both have left now  & of course we have been blamed for everything wrong with her life, again, past and present.

They really are the most arrogant, selfish, distrustful people to be given the privilege of being born.
My grandchild I feel sorry for and yet she’s got another one on the way & despite her break up she says she’ll manage … Sure !  Happy 2024 … Here’s to another year of misery and broken dreams … or taking back control of the life you deserve

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[SaltyDawg]

SwanOrnament,

   Welcome back to the family.  We are here to listen to you and support you emotionally.

   Thank you for sharing your struggles (venting) with your dear daughter and the mess she has gotten herself into.  

   Most of here have found out the hard way, that a pwBPD who has a baby only complicates matters and not make them better as they are an additional stressor and source of anxiety for them, not a source of joy that a normal mother would experience.

   It sounds incredibly stressful and hopeless that things will get better in your daughter's life and your grandchildren's and that would make anyone feel overwhelmed.  Please be sure to take time for yourself and fill your cup with self-care, whatever that might look like for you.

   Thanks for sharing, and keep coming back.

   Take care.

SD

[livednlearned]

Hi SwanOrnament,

Welcome  

Oof, Christmas. Holidays are so hard when there is BPD in the family.

DD is struggling and desperate to ‘off load’ at any given opportunity…. I try my best to help but can see through the manipulation and her devious nature.

 

What are some of the ways your DD is manipulating you? It's rough when there's a grandchild involved -- it can feel like everyone loses.

How are you coping with the radio silence?

Does DD leave far away?