Having to make a decision; Stay or Leave

[Gamgee]

Hi All,

I found this support site looking for emotional blackmail solutions for my marriage of 19 years. I am quite exhausted and thinking about throwing in the towel to preserve my own health.

I believe he is a BPD/Covert Narc after many years of "trying" to do the right thing for him. I am learning to provide better boundaries, which he resists vehemently which only adds to my giving up.

I am looking for my own emotional and psychological support and health

thanks, Gamgee

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hello Gamgee and

Wow, almost 2 decades is a long time to cope with PD behaviors. No wonder you're exhausted -- I can hardly imagine.

Do you two have any children?

And tell me a little more about this:

I am learning to provide better boundaries

are you working on boundaries in therapy/counseling? or more on your own?

Real boundaries do take some learning and work, and often, when we make those changes to "the dance" with a BPD partner, the partner doesn't like that. That is normal and expected; sometimes that phenomenon is called an extinction burst.

What boundaries have you tried? What does it look like for him to resist?

We'll be here for you;

kells76