Trying again, confonting an indiagnosed BPD SO, do or don't

[rattled64]

My last post was maybe too long. I have been aware of her undiagnosed BPD for about 3 years. We were seeing a therapist together and I expressed my concern to the therapist privately. We since discontinued couples therapy and now I am seeing that therapist myself.

My experience is that my pwBPD seems completely unaware of how twisted and irrational she gets. I stumbled on JADE and will try it to avoid escalating conflicts, but it feels like if she is spending $100s per month on therapy and has a psychiatrist making decisions on her meds, that she should know and they should know if they are really going to help her.

So, what do recommend and please share your experiences attempting this. Thanks!

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tina7868]

Hi rattled64! Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds frustrating to work on aspects on your end, while she remains unaware of her own behaviour.

Other members may have more experience with this type of situation, but just to clarify, how long have you been in a relationship for? Also, if I understand correctly, she is now in therapy by herself, but her psychiastrist hasn`t spoken to her about a clear diagnosis?

Again, thank you for sharing, and we`ll navigate this together!

[rattled64]

We just had our 25th anniversary last year. This has been a constant in our marriage, but the frequency and severity seems to be increasing. I was a ware she had been in two high conflict relationships before we met, but did not find out she was had taken meds in her 20s until a few years into the marriage.