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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
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Seems it just keeps getting harder
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Topic: Seems it just keeps getting harder (Read 547 times)
Mushu
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: At a crossroads
Posts: 15
Seems it just keeps getting harder
«
on:
February 24, 2024, 08:39:11 PM »
Hey everyone, last posted 2weeks ago, different thread. Looking to keep things a little more brief here and hopefully get some back and forth as I really have no one to talk to about this.
No contact with my ex BPD fiancee since Jan. 20. Feels like things are working in reverse. At first I was glad, finally relieved of the constant background stress after another unprompted test of what I would put up with and subsequent rage. As time goes by I miss her more and more instead of less and less. Every day, every hour has been a struggle not to text her to see if we can talk. Logic vs emotion.
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GaGrl
Ambassador
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 5775
Re: Seems it just keeps getting harder
«
Reply #1 on:
February 24, 2024, 10:07:43 PM »
It is so very difficult to separate.
.y suggestion...can you journal all the interactions that led to the demise of the relationship. Write, write, write.
Then go back and read.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
ForeverDad
Retired Staff
Online
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
Posts: 18620
You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...
Re: Seems it just keeps getting harder
«
Reply #2 on:
February 25, 2024, 01:10:25 AM »
Our inclination is to seek a comfort zone, typically what we've become accustomed to. Even if it was stressful and negative. You've only started to build yourself a new level, a better zone. Give it time to reset. Recovery is not an event, it's a process.
Keep busy with positive activities. Go hiking, chop some wood, finish a project or two, exercise is a wonderful catalyst for mental health.
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Mushu
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: At a crossroads
Posts: 15
Re: Seems it just keeps getting harder
«
Reply #3 on:
February 26, 2024, 04:39:57 PM »
Thank you for your responses.
I feel writing is a great way to process, just from posting here it seems to bring out suppressed emotion and reading previous posts reminds me of how things were in my own words before amnesia about the negatives set in.
Staying busy with projects and exercise are great suggestions and I have been doing both. Still my motivation has waned as the separation is becoming more difficult to accept. It's all I can do not to try and reach out to her.
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Seems it just keeps getting harder
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