Battle between heart and head

[Livin on a praye]

Hey! I've been married for 16 years and my husband recently was diagnosed with bpd. As y'all know the challenges and hurt that comes with that. My heart is telling me that he really is trying this time but my head is saying that it hurts too much and I need to protect what sanity I have left.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[tina7868]

Hello Livin on a praye  (love the name!). I`m sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but glad you`ve decided to share with us. Here you will be amongst people who `get it`.

16 years is a long time to be committed to someone. It`s valid and understandable to feel conflicted. I have a few questions to get the ball rolling. Feel free to share as much, or as little as you feel comfortable doing!

Do you have any children?

What did it feel like when your husband was diagnosed with bpd? Is he in therapy?

What would you like to get from visiting us?

[Livin on a praye]

Thank you! Yes we have 2 girls, our oldest is 14 and youngest is 11. It's actually kind if sad because he checked himself into a mental hospital in 2014 and they diagnosed him with ptsd and intermittent explosive disorder. It wasn't until this year that we found a couples therapist that actually gave them the correct diagnosis but because it was couples therapy he wasn't getting the insight and tools he needed to help him. He recently checked himself back into the hospital which is where he has received the foundation for getting better. Like I said though 16 years has been a long time being with someone who has had bpd and not know why he has said or done the things he has.

[tina7868]

He recently checked himself back into the hospital which is where he has received the foundation for getting better.

What has this foundation looked like? How has he taken the new diagnosis? How have you girls taken it?

Like I said though 16 years has been a long time being with someone who has had bpd and not know why he has said or done the things he has.

It is a long time indeed. Have you had a chance to learn about BPD?

There is a plethora of information available about BPD. This website is a good place to start. Let us know what you think.

Looking forward to hearing from you!