Yes honestly I think this book does a very good job of pragmatically showing us that boundaries are needed, and how to implement them in ways that are kind and fair to the other person while also honouring ourselves. There are so many examples. I feel she covers what you are looking for.
Methuen,
Thanks for sharing, I've always intended my boundaries to be kind, fair, while also honoring not only myself, but our children as well.
Quick update, things are improving with my wife and family, there are no more extinction bursts since January, and things are getting better, rapidly, so I no longer have to talk about those boundaries anymore. If things continue in this direction, I will be posting a 'success story' in the next few months.
SD