My situation

First, I am so relieved to have found this site and thank those who started it.
My situation.
I have been in a seven year relationship with someone I dearly love. For years we have had a lack of communication other than acknowledging we have issues. During those years we have traveled, vacationed and gone about life. I have supported her, her children and her dreams. But something was always missing and I knew from the start it was there.
We broke up for several months and I moved on with my life in my townhouse. It was her decision and the ending was traumatic for me. Throughout that time I was always hoping she would have me back and she called and so began phase two. I knew I could never love her as before because being abandoned took it's tool. It was not my first feeling of being abandoned.
That said, I still loved her so I returned, eventually sold my home and moved in. I still had doubts on her sincerity. I could never read her mind or emotions which she admits is an issue with her.

So, why am I here. After years of trying to understand her I found this site because we are now in crisis mode and she wants to end it again. I now longer have my home so am VERY anxious.
C's came from a very dysfunctional family with eight children, Her father was a bipolar severe symptoms, often disappearing for days, drinking etc. Her mother was not really engaged.
C's daughter is also bipolar with manic episodes and refuses to medicate. One brother died from alcohol and depressions. Another sister died from self neglect and poor self esteem. Another brother is a reformed alcoholic. Another sister suffers from extreme depression.
When I mentioned this to C, she claims she had a normal, maybe not so happy childhood.
I could go on but that is is baseline of her. My baseline was like Ozzie and Harriet and I was the Beave.
I am older by eight years.
At any rate, I started reading about BPD but the symptoms did not match her behavior. Then I found Quiet BPD and bingo, every thing made sense. On one link, she checked all the boxes. Not surprisingly she rejected it.
I should mention that she has attended AAA and most recently been engaged in counseling. I should also mention that she has given up on her daughter after she attempted suicide three time. It all adds up to me that she lacks empathy.
So, now she wants me out....again and if I am right about the Quiet BPD, is in denial.
The problem I have is who to believe? Is she just fine and I am wacko or am I right by observing her QuietBPD behavior for seven years, feeling something has a deeper root?



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