Concerned

[774redrover]

I’m concerned about my husband. We have been married 28 years and he won’t see a psychiatrist or therapist. I think he has Bpd.
He moved out in 2021 unexpectedly; filed for divorce then returned 9 months later. He moved out again 1/2024 and came back 2 weeks later.
I requested the 2021 case be reopened. So a divorce is in process. He has had periods of lavish spending, unstable moods, anger outbursts. He rejects people who come close emotionally. Help….

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hello 774redrover and

Wow, 28 years is a long time to cope with BPD traits and behaviors. When did you first start to suspect BPD?

Do you have any kids together? If so, how are they doing?

And as odd as this sounds, do you actually want the divorce? Or are you hoping it'd be a wake-up call to him? Just getting a better picture of all the moving parts in your situation.

That's frustrating that he isn't interested in getting help. Have you seen any counselors or therapists on your own yet? It can be so helpful in keeping our feet grounded in reality.

Fill us in, whenever works for you;

kells76