>I just broke up with a romantic partner today and need support

[Trebor]

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for many years and just recently realised my relationship partner has BPD (undiagnosed). The character of our relationship changed from congenial to distant.  One day he loves me so much and then he withdraws. Once he ghosted me but came back two days later with only a “hi”. He refused to explain and acted like nothing had happened.  Other than this, he has never been physically or verbally abusive. He had told me he loved me but is totally emotionally invulnerable.He forbid me to mention anything about his personality or character to him.  When I originally met him he impressed me as strong and independent but the last time I saw him he seemed meek and dependent.For the last 3 days he reads my posts but doesn’t comment.When I mentioned this he said “So it seems”. I got tired of this up and down emotional behavior, was so angry and blocked him.  I will not return

[At Bay]

So sorry this has happened to you, and that it is has been very stressful. You're brave to take this step to find a healthier way of life for you. I think reality to them is very different, and the indifference hurts us a lot if it continues. Since it is a repeating pattern, that means all that you can do is limit the time it affects you, and now heal and become the person you used to be when things made better sense in your life.

It takes time, but you know yourself, and the things that make you happy. Be good to yourself right now.

Please keep posting here, and reading others' experiences as well. Things will get better, and I'm glad you found this site which has helped me over the years with many decisions and ways to cope. I can't be on my own now, but you have done the right thing. 

[ThanksForPlaying]

Stay strong Trebor - you can do it!

I'm inspired by your post - thank you.

I'm currently about to do the same thing. Dealing with a wall of indifference. Small glimpses of emotion followed by long periods of blank stares and emotionless words. No affection. No physical touch.

But then it returns for a few minutes! It's hard to walk away when these small rewards keep popping up randomly. Random positive reinforcement is the most addictive behavioral trigger known to science.

Regardless of whether it's diagnosed BPD or not, it makes us feel bad, and we can choose to not accept being treated that way.

Hang in there.