If BPD is involved, then extreme emotions leading to unmanaged responses is a feature, not a bug, of relationships. I think many members here have experienced the pwBPD in their lives "overreacting" (from our perspectives) to something that "should" be a 5/10, not an 11/10.
I have been in a situation before where I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I was aware that my memory was not functioning. I could not remember what someone said to me 30 seconds previously. And, I'm in the "generally normal" (broad) range of persons -- I don't have a personality disorder. Anyone can get so stressed out that they lose memory. Extreme, but yes, it totally happens. So, it makes sense that the next day, she would not remember the incident.
We were having a talk about having children and I said we could have a life without children.
Sounds like there was a lot more going on in the conversation. What led up to that moment? Were there times when the talk was going OK?
Having kids can be a huge, emotional deal for some women -- again, "generally normal" women included (I've experienced this). Is it for her?
And are you back at the house now?
Fill us in a bit more on the situation. I'm hopeful we can find moments under your control to "take the wheel" of conversations like that and steer it away from the rocks. Difficult stuff for sure.
