Extremely depressed bc of bf with borderline

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hello, I am not a doctor but for the past year, I dated a man who really fits the criteria for borderline. He was a bit younger than me, but expressed he wanted a family.We are also from the same culture. My grandmother had just passed away, so I was vulnerable. I liked the idea of being able to speak with somebody in my language rather than just English. I sort of met him through mutual acquaintances and there were already some signs he had issues. When he was loving, he was extremely sweet and it was the best physical intimacy I ever had. From the start though, he was really demanding with my time and he made me spend a great deal of money. I have a good job and initially didn’t mind spending. I liked him so much. It was the first time with a man that I was the one who spent money, but he started to want me to carelessly spend on sudden vacations and if his expectations weren’t met, he would get extremely disappointed.

Over time, I started to see how much his mood fluctuated sometimes by the minute. He would get angry at things that the average person would not be bothered by. I am an extremely sensitive woman, but could not understand why he would explode over things that were minor annoyances.

To top it off, he got off on the wrong foot with my mother. I’m an only child so my mom is always somewhat suspicious of guys I date. In since she asked him about his education and career, he became offended and after that just hated her. I am very close to my mother so it was hard for me to have to be a referee. He would call my mom the most vile names to me, accuse me of being a momma’s girl, and even wish death on my mom. The stuff he said was just so cruel. I have never ever heard another human have so much hate. Prior to him labeling my mom as a bad person, he had hate towards his own mother. Meanwhile, his father who was largely absent in his life is the person he idealizes. His father could literally do no wrong.

He  became physically abusive and eventually hit me in the ear. I had to have a surgery. He was apologetic. I know I should have left, but leaving an abusive relationship is extremely hard. He moved into my home for three months, then went back to his home to continue his studies and we were sort of long distance.

 In since I was recovering from my ear surgery, I couldn’t travel for a while. Long story short, the other day, I was supposed to travel to meet him. He knew my mom had her vacation on the 17th of August and I would be in his neck of the woods anyway, but he demanded I come for 4 days on an international flight before to spend with him and then go back home and come again with my mom. Waiting for my mom was not an option in since we would be traveling with two small dogs and I have to carry one and my mother the other and we were still waiting for USDA papers. I tried to tell him it wasn’t logical for me to make two long trips in less than two weeks and that he should wait for the 17th. After this, he called me some vile names and told me he was blocking me forever. It’s now been over 24 hours almost 48 since he blocked me. He blocked me countless times in the past, but never has he gone silent for this long. Keep in mind, I felt making two separate trips not only was it not logical from a logistics standpoint, but he had spent two weeks insulting me and calling me the most vile names. Even telling me I was desperate and ugly compared to some women on Instagram he had crushes on. As much as I missed him and wanted to see him, I felt making two trips made me look desperate and if he wanted to see me he should wait a few days until I come with my mother. Now, I am starting to regret not leaving yesterday. I previously gave into his every demand, but lately I am starting to think about myself and my comfort.

Sorry  for this long winding post that probably has typos, but I really just need to vent. I feel so empty. This man and me have been talking almost 24 hours a day since we met over a year ago with the exception of blocks that lasted an few hours and I just feel so empty now and second guessing my choices. I miss him a lot. When our relationship was good it was really good. All the pet names, the intimacy, etc.
This  is the longest he has kept me blocked and now he even blocked my calls. I’m going to give him space and not try to contact. I just feel so broken. I know this relationship was not healthy for me, but when him and I met, I thought he would be the one to give me a family. He said so much he wanted children and we tried several times.

His parents also refuse to recognize he has problems and have enabled him his entire life. At nearly 30, he just finished a high school diploma this year because he could not get along in school.

[melroseesq88]

Hello, I am not a doctor but for the past year, I dated a man who really fits the criteria for borderline. He was a bit younger than me, but expressed he wanted a family.We are also from the same culture. My grandmother had just passed away, so I was vulnerable. I liked the idea of being able to speak with somebody in my language rather than just English. I sort of met him through mutual acquaintances and there were already some signs he had issues. When he was loving, he was extremely sweet and it was the best physical intimacy I ever had. From the start though, he was really demanding with my time and he made me spend a great deal of money. I have a good job and initially didn’t mind spending. I liked him so much. It was the first time with a man that I was the one who spent money, but he started to want me to carelessly spend on sudden vacations and if his expectations weren’t met, he would get extremely disappointed.

Over time, I started to see how much his mood fluctuated sometimes by the minute. He would get angry at things that the average person would not be bothered by. I am an extremely sensitive woman, but could not understand why he would explode over things that were minor annoyances.

To top it off, he got off on the wrong foot with my mother. I’m an only child so my mom is always somewhat suspicious of guys I date. In since she asked him about his education and career, he became offended and after that just hated her. I am very close to my mother so it was hard for me to have to be a referee. He would call my mom the most vile names to me, accuse me of being a momma’s girl, and even wish death on my mom. The stuff he said was just so cruel. I have never ever heard another human have so much hate. Prior to him labeling my mom as a bad person, he had hate towards his own mother. Meanwhile, his father who was largely absent in his life is the person he idealizes. His father could literally do no wrong.

He  became physically abusive and eventually hit me in the ear. I had to have a surgery. He was apologetic. I know I should have left, but leaving an abusive relationship is extremely hard. He moved into my home for three months, then went back to his home to continue his studies and we were sort of long distance.

 In since I was recovering from my ear surgery, I couldn’t travel for a while. Long story short, the other day, I was supposed to travel to meet him. He knew my mom had her vacation on the 17th of August and I would be in his neck of the woods anyway, but he demanded I come for 4 days on an international flight before to spend with him and then go back home and come again with my mom. Waiting for my mom was not an option in since we would be traveling with two small dogs and I have to carry one and my mother the other and we were still waiting for USDA papers. I tried to tell him it wasn’t logical for me to make two long trips in less than two weeks and that he should wait for the 17th. After this, he called me some vile names and told me he was blocking me forever. It’s now been over 24 hours almost 48 since he blocked me. He blocked me countless times in the past, but never has he gone silent for this long. Keep in mind, I felt making two separate trips not only was it not logical from a logistics standpoint, but he had spent two weeks insulting me and calling me the most vile names. Even telling me I was desperate and ugly compared to some women on Instagram he had crushes on. As much as I missed him and wanted to see him, I felt making two trips made me look desperate and if he wanted to see me he should wait a few days until I come with my mother. Now, I am starting to regret not leaving yesterday. I previously gave into his every demand, but lately I am starting to think about myself and my comfort.

Sorry  for this long winding post that probably has typos, but I really just need to vent. I feel so empty. This man and me have been talking almost 24 hours a day since we met over a year ago with the exception of blocks that lasted an few hours and I just feel so empty now and second guessing my choices. I miss him a lot. When our relationship was good it was really good. All the pet names, the intimacy, etc.
This  is the longest he has kept me blocked and now he even blocked my calls. I’m going to give him space and not try to contact. I just feel so broken. I know this relationship was not healthy for me, but when him and I met, I thought he would be the one to give me a family. He said so much he wanted children and we tried several times.

His parents also refuse to recognize he has problems and have enabled him his entire life. At nearly 30, he just finished a high school diploma this year because he could not get along in school.

[melroseesq88]

PS That he labeled my mom as evil after some minor disagreements is crazy too. He was unable to forgive my mother even though my mom helped him with travel and did a lot for him during our relationship. Once he came to our home, stayed upstairs, and didn’t even stay hello to her. It broke my heart how he demonized her. I had bfs in the past who initially had disagreements with my mother, but they always eventually ended up being friends or at least civil.

Now he has lonely demonized me because I couldn’t jump on his every command. I am human and have had some health issues this summer. All of this is very heartbreaking.

[melroseesq88]

well, i’m doing much better. he unblocked yesterday night. i’m feeling at peace with my decision. he started making another demand yesterday and i realize it’s time to detach. maybe not stop talking to him, but start to get out and maybe hopefully meet somebody who respects me. some of these pwbpd are highly offensive individuals when untreated. i still feel attraction towards him, but im also annoyed. annoyed at how difficult he tries to make life. he is now telling me that while my mother is in town, he cannot meet me and will need me to have a separate vacation with him when she leaves, demanding again that we visit various far cities.

[melroseesq88]

the way this man has demonized my mom is crazy. they almost start to view the person they hate as a sort of contamination. their behavior is so scary.