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Author Topic: 1.01 | The Do's and Don'ts in a BPD Relationship  (Read 78213 times)
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Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 68

« Reply #30 on: August 29, 2015, 02:35:56 AM »


This is so great to hear, its funny since all these things have been rolling around in my mind, and as I read more and more BPD experiences and tactics to survive, its almost scary how similar everyone's experiences are -- on the other hand, its also depressing since everything you say is correct IMO. And I did NOT get married for this. But, we had a baby, and now until I have a better option that splitting up this family I am stuck. So, I have to learn to live with it.


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Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 4

« Reply #31 on: March 06, 2017, 06:25:37 PM »

I truly appreciate these posts.  Smiling (click to insert in post)  I have also decided to stay in our relationship, and indeed people have no idea how to help you as Mamabear expresses.  I am not blaming them.  I was there before my current situation.  I am new here in this site.  My dear husband has BP traits and other issues that have been diagnosed.  He has suffered much in his life.  I know I want to be there for him, but I have come to realize that I first need to deal with my issues, take care of myself and build a support system, so I can be there for him. 
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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Child
Posts: 238

« Reply #32 on: July 03, 2017, 09:53:38 AM »

Thanks for posting this, I'd be interested to see how people have applied this to BPD adult children, who naturally if at all possible one wants to stay in a relationship with. Mine are not diagnosed BPD but were abandoned at a young age and I think have some of the emotional traits/patterns.  I really like what you said about deciding to do it long term and committing to be the stable one and be non-reactive.  I have been too reactive to my own emotional pain, and the need to develop a very strong identity/ego separate from the relationship I think also applies to adult children.  I often read and post on the Parenting board but most of the people on that board are in crisis, while currently my kids are pretty stable and making an effort to do well, so I'm more concerned with how to modify my own behavior to continue gradual improvement long term.  Thanks and further advice welcome!


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Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 6

« Reply #33 on: January 01, 2018, 08:29:46 AM »

Wow, this list was so eye-opening!  Reading it absolutely terrifies me.  Right now, I don't have it in me to keep up with all of this.  I don't think I am strong enough to do all of this!  Definitely gives perspective.
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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Inlaw
Posts: 110

« Reply #34 on: July 23, 2019, 08:06:29 AM »

Emotionally satisfying? No.  A sign of a healthy relationship?  No,   just life with a BPD partner.  And if (or when) you can't find it in yourself to accept this anymore -  you probably need to get out of the relationship. Just some thoughts - although, my relationship ended, so these are like golf tips from the worst player on the course 

Exactly my thoughts. You weren't the worst player on the course, you were the rational one who decided that you shouldn't be playing this game to have a fulfilling and emotionally stable life. It wasn't your illness to fix or manage.......bpd person needs to take that responsibility or be abandoned. There can be no growth without facing your fears and taking responsibility, that applies to a normal person too.
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