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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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discohornet
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: single
Posts: 380


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« Reply #60 on: May 01, 2008, 06:15:36 PM »

Thanks for sharing, Tone. Glad to hear you're in a better place now.
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Oy-vey!
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 2210


« Reply #61 on: May 01, 2008, 07:25:25 PM »



Tony,

You are such a tremendous person.  Simply put:  a really great guy.  Your new gf, any woman actually, is lucky to have you in their life.

I was reflecting on the responses you received here on the board while you were going through some of those experiences.  The one that really comes to mind is the psych ward.  I don't know how many people gave you such solid advice about her motives and intentions while she was in the cuckoo house.  Yet, you stuck by her knowing that you had to do the "right" thing by her.  And when you saw it was time to go - you left. 

You did what you had to do.  Just like so many others at bpdfamily.com.  Going through the same pain that you've been through before.  Going through the same motions that you've gone through before.  All the while hearing from the side-lines to "move on" "let go" "take care of yourself".

You are such a selfless individual who deserves a special place in heaven.  With a bunch of women who are worthy of you (& you of them).  Smiling (click to insert in post) 8) :-*
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