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Author Topic: PROGNOSIS: Can someone with BPD improve without treatment?  (Read 1684 times)
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« on: November 20, 2008, 11:16:57 PM »

Is it possible for a high functioning person with a PD to become more psychologically stable without agressive therapy? Can they get "better" ,even if they are trying to manipulate, if the behaviors they are involved in are positve?


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Relationship status: Single - living on my own and like it
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« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2008, 12:24:57 AM »

My ex-wife did appear to be this way for about a year and put me in a real relaxed mode. Then for some reason like Dennis the Menace and it started all over again. Being high functioning they will probably project this to all others in the world around them.

Letting go when it is too painful to hang on is hard to rationalize.

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« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2008, 11:43:28 AM »

I think that behaviors can change forms.  A more high-functioning person can be very "with it", communicate well, stick with a responsible job long-term, but may still be difficult, manipulative, controlling, and emotionally volatile at home.  One of the reasons that so many are re-engaged is that the BPD person can seem perfectly together, can act completely different... .for a while, perhaps even months or a year or two.  I do think that some will change behaviors as they age... .less overt acting out, less violence, less rages, more manipulation and silent treatment.  Not recovered, but perhaps easier to live with... perhaps.  My exh would tell me of his behaviors when he was younger and I know I wouldn't have stayed with him for 20 years if he had been doing those things when I was with him.  But his behaviors were more "acceptable", but ultimately, I didn't want to endure the consistent degradation, the manipulation, the control, the other forms of chaos that he brought into our lives.

Now, can someone really "recover" without intense therapy and DBT?  I think it is not impossible, though hardly likely.  I think the first step would be that the person actually accepts that he or she engages in very difficult behaviors and starts to work on him/herself to somehow reduce or eliminate those behaviors.  I think that some could do it, but very few.  I think the proof would be how well or how poorly that person can handle a stressful situation, illness, money problems, problems with a family member, etc. 


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« Reply #3 on: December 10, 2008, 08:28:46 PM »

Though I'm new here and still in the early stages of learning about BPD  I noticed some changes in my wife through time.  Though i set very few limits on our relationship she did seem to respond to those limits.  The limits i made clear were only those limits that i was willing to end the relationship over.  I think my wife is one of those really high functioning people,  she also seemed to have a lot of awareness of her symptoms and could explain why she did what she did "i said that because thats how i feel about myself"  "I wouldn't act that way if you didn't let me get away with it".  It wasn't until she left that i began to put the pieces of this together.

I'm not sure if its normal for them to be so aware of it or not, but i'm now finding out that most of what she said was true. 
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« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2008, 11:35:27 PM »


I've been a member here for over a year, and read many hundreds of members' stories - who knows how many.  I don't think I've read a single member who said that the BPD sufferer in their life had improved significantly - become fully functional - without serious therapy.  I don't know if it's possible, but to think it is likely is probably not wise.

Looking at it another way, if the individual is committed to change, why would they not want therapy?  And if they are not committed to change, why would you think that they will?

Best wishes,


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