I can't speak from any authority at all, but my BP friend often made the same or similar remarks about herself. She often used this kind of terminology when talking about her own past (which was rather horrific). In the sense that she used it, she was like a piece of merchandise that had been manhandled and broken; no one would "want to purchase damaged goods" (ie, no one would really want her as she is because there was so much past trauma).

My uBPDw refers to herself as being "broken", but never has referred to "borderline".

The answer to the question posed of this thread is "yes."

 Yep... .there is a strong sense inside... its part of the diagnosis, of being broken and bad. This is where the behaviors stem from.

Interestingly, for me, now that my H has recovered, he no longer feels broken. He says he has the usual amount of struggles, like everyone else, and has his good days and not as good days and he feels good about himself. He was in DBT for 3+ yrs, was always a very high functioning person ( very)  and his sense of badness was very, very strong before he got help.

Steph

I'd love to know if borderlines who do seem to function better with treatment, do so when they have a supportive partner and perhaps it's those who do not have that fleet in and out of therapy and never seem to recover.  I remember my ex saying to me that he did not think anyone believed in him and felt he lacked support from family etc growing up, so i wonder if it makes a huge difference to recovery rates if you have someone by your side rooting for you throughout it.  I know i was just told that they never recover, but i do know that different psychiatrists have differing opinions on this and i am a great advocate of therapy as opposed to medication with mental health and i would love to see some stats on people who do recover somewhat and whether they are single during recovery or not.

I think my BPD daughter had always felt "broken" or responsible for "breaking" other people... .she seemed to be drawn to situations that would reinforce these feelings. She blamed other people because then she didn't have to shoulder the burden of "repairing" herself. She's been doing better for a few months working very hard at regulating her emotions... .she had a horrible experience last month involving an ex and domestic violence and still managed to remain focused, strong, rational and amazingly calm... .She says she feels strong and is mending now so the funny thing is this guy she's been dating for about 6 weeks gave his mom a bit of background on my daughter and his mom said; "she's damaged goods".  The woman's never met my daughter and I honestly don't know what her son said but even her saying that didn't send my daughter off (which normally it would)... .I think it made her more determined! Ha!

I think it's essential that people be supportive but that the BDP carry the load... .part of the feeling broken aspect is they don't feel like we believe they can do it... .I say lots of encouraging positive things but she gets to own the accomplishments as well as the setbacks!

i always hoped... .i would see her say... .show   something about damaged goods.never happened

3 plus years therapy... .3 plus years meds...   3 plus years... .pych...

and a suidcide attemp... .

never thought it was her... .it was everyone else...

she went off to live with a guy... for nine months then a suicide attempt i was to be the rescuer on...

it was my fault... .because i walked away and forced her to move with new guy... .

she never took a lookin in the mirror... .

My DBPDSO has serious issues with feeling like broken, damaged goods. And from a certain way of looking at it, she indeed is. She didn't get much love or attention while developing, was told she was useless and bad by most of her family members, only met her father once, had her sexuality stolen from her and dirtied before she was ten years old, has PTSD/BPD/PMDD so her brain is half-broken, and a history of bad relationships and bad friendships. If that's not damaged goods, i don't know what is, and pretending to her that I don't get why she feels that way wouldn't help her. However, as I make clear to her, it hasn't changed the core of who she is, a kind, loving person. Therapy helps her, DBT is about to help her, and being loved and appreciated by me helps her.


Peacebaby