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Author Topic: 5.07 | Dealing with ruminations  (Read 29578 times)
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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 1869

« Reply #20 on: July 24, 2014, 01:36:15 PM »

Even beyond ruminating and on into those gut-reactions I have when I see a truck that looks like my uBPDh's now that i'm out of the house--I believe I will use the silly name and pinch my ear when that happens since it STARTS me down the rumination trail. Currently trying to decide between "SillyPants" and "Bullfrog"... or maybe "Loquat" (such a funny word!)

i'm gonna try the file system for a couple of things.

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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 1391

« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2015, 10:51:45 PM »

One thing that helps me when I'm ruminating is to write it down.  I take the thought or dialoge out of my head and put it on the paper.  Then I can stop thinking about it for now and know just where to find that thought if I want to think about it more later

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and just said, I just don't care" -Pink
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Gender: Female
Person in your life: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 2

« Reply #22 on: March 16, 2015, 06:19:18 PM »

I just went NC 1 1/2 weeks ago with the BPD man I was involved with for almost two years. Reading these posts has been very helpful. For awhile I thought I might need to get a restraining order, then he finally stopped contacting me and I felt so relieved and peaceful, like I was starting to move on. I started to feel happy again. But unfortunately I had a relapse a couple days ago, after I registered for Pinterest and saw his account ... he had a board of posts pertaining to him and the woman he is involved with (that he claimed was just a "friend," even though he was/is in love with her). It leveled me, and now I can't stop thinking and feeling resentful that he used me, emotionally abandoned me, betrayed me and replaced me with someone else once I had nothing more to give (and lied about it), before he had even moved out of my place, and is now seemingly happy while I am alone. 

I am glad to know it gets better, and will get better. Apparently I need to stay off the Internet!
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Gender: Male
Person in your life: Other
Posts: 276

« Reply #23 on: July 28, 2015, 02:34:24 AM »

I'm here now because this is where i need to be.  I can not believe (yes i can i am here) how OBSESSIONAL and neurologically trapped i have gotten in this situation.  I tell my self next week will be different, tomorrow will be different...   and find myself locked in.


well above posts and workshop will be  helpful.  I need to remember to put my efforts here first!  And get on with my day, my life...  

Rather be a host to God, than a hostage to my ego.   Damn, that damage got me but good.  Okay, it is what it is.  You got to heal.  Let go man!

Its funny to think that the past and future are objects/stories the mind plays with. "Oh how they treated us, oh how potentially happy they may be in the future without us."

What I find most confusing is what part of this is to be taken as a lesson and how much of it is just food for the ego? Is there really anything to be learned or are these ruminations just mind fuel? 
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