I think believing in yourself means knowing that you are doing the right thing. As easy as that sounds, sometimes it can be a struggle. We all live with doubt in various areas of our lives. We can't be experts in all things, (although some seem to enjoy acting that way). So I thought to myself - how do I know what I'm good at? How do you know you're a good parent? A good employee? A good gardener? A good artist? A good listener? A good friend? A good lover?
We know this because we are constantly evaluating ourselves and we critique our performance as either good or bad. We ask ourselves; Was this good enough? Am I done? Should I do more? Will others like it? Hate it? That voice we hear is doubt and uncertainty, our own worst critic.
I think the BP in many of our lives feeds and magnifies this inner critic of ours. They blame us for everything that goes wrong (remember rule 1). And we buy what they are selling each and every time. They belittle us and criticize us to such a degree that we are afraid to try or to speak out, in case we are wrong. We don't want to hear anymore blame or hurtful words. We just want peace.
We allow them to create the conditions so that we feel bad about ourselves, even though they are often the ones who are in the wrong. It seems as though we actually have two problems. Not only are some of us our own worst critics, we also have a mentally ill person placing all responsibility on our shoulders for anything and everything bad.
So how did the Cowardly Lion finally find the courage to stand up and fight the Wicked Witch of the West? He believed he had something to fight for. He believed that he had done what was requested and he believed in fair play. He had begun to believe in himself.
How can you do the same?
Step1 - Choose a mantra or motto that you can repeat to yourself every day. Try something like, "I can do whatever I put my mind to"
Step2 - Learn that your opinion is the only one that matters. Put aside the petty thoughts and opinions of others. In your life, you are the only one who has to wake up to yourself and your reality every day.
Step3 - Speak up for your opinions at work, school or at home. When you break out of a submissive role in your interactions with others, you will begin to build confidence in your own voice and judgment.
Step4 - Try anything, even if you have a voice in the back your mind telling you that it isn't possible. Even the smallest triumphs can build up a sense of self, and can help you believe in yourself the next time you are faced with a challenge or goal.
Step5 - Talk yourself out of self-defeating behavior. When you begin to tell yourself that you can't accomplish a certain goal in life, you are letting yourself fail before you even try. Begin by reversing your self speech that brings you down, and tell yourself the opposite.
Step6 - Surround yourself with people you admire. You can more easily believe in yourself when you are with people who have goals and work to achieve them. Walk up to someone you admire for going back to school and holding down and job, and ask them how they managed it. This can open up the way to friendship and ideas about how you can accomplish your goals.
Heres a story I found on the internet, that I found interesting:
A few years ago, students in medical school were entering the classroom for the final exam of one of the most difficult courses in the whole curriculum. The students had studied non stop for days, and were as prepared as they could be. The professor sat quietly at his desk at the front of the room.
As the bell rang, the professor slowly walked over and closed the door. Then he turned to the class and said "anyone who does not want to take this exam can leave now and earn a B for this course." The students exchanged glances, trying to decide what the kicker was, and then the professor repeated the statement. Students hurriedly got up and left the classroom.
About a dozen students were left. The professor looked around and said "last chance â€“ you can leave now and be guaranteed a B for this course." A few more students got up and left with a look of relief on their faces.
With about 8 students left in the room, the professor shut the door, then turned to the students and said "congratulations. You have all demonstrated that you believe in yourself and I give you an A for this course. You are excused."
Would you have left the room?
Do you believe in yourself?
Awesome I was told to read this article. I think I would have stayed although I have lost that confidence finding it again