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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
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The more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been
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Topic: The more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been (Read 394 times)
iexist
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 1
The more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been
«
on:
March 18, 2021, 05:01:24 PM »
I'm exhausted. I've been with my wife for 20 years. I don't have much to say about that right now. I'd like to think that there's hope, but the more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been. I don't think I'm actually in this relationship at this point. There's her, her feelings, and her perceptions and interpretations of me. What I actually say, do, and feel, is irrelevant. I don't feel like a person anymore. I'm just here. There's a good person inside her somewhere, but I'm not going to drive myself insane trying to find it. At this point I need to look after myself.
«
Last Edit: March 19, 2021, 12:26:32 PM by Cat Familiar
»
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Cat Familiar
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
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Re: The more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been
«
Reply #1 on:
March 19, 2021, 12:28:16 PM »
So many of us who enter into these relationships are codependents or caretakers and over time we forget to take care of ourselves.
Remembering to do that is a good first step in healing. In what way are you going to begin to look after your own needs?
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“The Four Agreements 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Don’t take anything personally. 3. Don’t make assumptions. 4. Always do your best. ” ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Joshua 1:9
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: separated
Posts: 3
Re: The more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been
«
Reply #2 on:
March 24, 2021, 02:37:03 PM »
I completely identify with what you are describing. Thankfully I have found a great therapist, and after only 2 sessions so far, I understand the importance of taking care of myself. What I lived with as "normal" after 40 years is anything but normal.
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truthdevotee
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Wife, but not formally married
Posts: 423
Re: The more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been
«
Reply #3 on:
March 25, 2021, 04:35:53 AM »
I feel the same way. As I'm learning self-care (as much as I can with two toddlers at home), things are getting even worse... I need to pace myself.
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The more I try, the more I realize how blinding my denial has been
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