Hi blue73,
I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a difficult time in your marriage. I'm glad that you decided to join us, there is hope.
The last 4 years we have been married and together constantly and I don't want to have these feelings towards him. I need to know how I can deal with these feelings and work through them
Read as much as you can about the disorder, you'll quickly see the benefits and become proficient over time, you can create a goal with becoming indifferent to the behaviors, you neither like it or hate it, it doesn't mean to invalidate your feelings. Our members can relate with you and offer you guidance and support. It helps to talk, you're not alone.
PS You'll find the lessons on the right margin ---------------->