Hello,
I've learned a lot from these boards. Thank you!
Just wondering if you have any suggestions for when uBPDh says untrue things about me, my motivations, feelings, actions, etc. The latest was that he told your youngest that I'm forgetful because I have Alzheimer's (she told me, and I was too angry to confront him directly). This is not true, and I'm not overly forgetful, just a lot to do each day.
I've had good results with leaving when he or I are angry, with whatever level of
validation in regular conversation, but not so good with boundaries. I slept in a different room last night, and told him this morning I expected to be treated with civility and respect and I didn't want him saying things about me to our children. He didn't say anything, just something like I always have problems.
I am concerned because our children are pre-teen/teen and sometimes I wonder if he is successful in turning them against me. They show their love still, but if they are angry or disappointed, they turn on me.
He won't ever admit the problem or get help. I am in a situation where on the whole, with children, it would be very tough to leave, financially, socially, and emotionally. He knows that and I think he's taking advantage of it. Any advice? Thank you and all my best to all of you struggling too.