Welcome FletchF.Fletch: I'm sorry about what you are going through with your mom.
My oldest child who sticks up for me to her is now starting to be emotionally and mentally abused by my Mother the way she used to when she had access to me.
How old is your daughter? Perhaps you can suggest that your daughter come her and learn some communication skills and how to set
BOUNDARIES with your mother?
She's exhausting beyond comprehension. Although she's doing a great job of drinking herself to death, I feel like I won't be able to rest until she rests. The awful thing about that is that I actually feel terrible for saying such an awful thing. Despite the horrible things she's done and said my entire life.
FOG - DEALING WITH FEAR, OBLIGATION AND GUILT is helpful to read about. Many people struggle with some aspect of FOG. It can be hard to accept that we don't have to care take someone who abuses us, or continue a relationship with them.
Some people go no contact (NC) or limited contact (LC) and others go back and forth between both. It's up to you to decide what is best for you.
Since you have children that have some level of contact with your mom, you might find the two lessons below helpful for you to avoid arguments and drama. At the end of the article on the Karpman Drama Triangle, there is information about healthy communication triangles.
AVOIDING CIRCULAR ARGUMENTSKARPMAN DRAMA TRIANGLEHave you ever had some counseling? You might want to work through the steps of the Survival Guide in the right-hand margin. Processing the fact that you have a disordered parent can be like a grieving process. What do you do to manage your stress?  :)o you try anything like mindfulness, meditation, hobbies, etc.?
Take Care We are here to listen to more of your story, when you are ready. It can be therapeutic to just share with others.