Marriage stress

[Mykesfriend]

I stay in an unhappy marriage because I am afraid of the effect that separation or divorce would have on my adult BPD child. I'd love to hear some thoughts or advice.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[once removed]

hi Mykesfriend and

its no easy decision; everyones reasons for staying are unique and personal, some are the same as yours, many are just trying to make the best of a tough situation, and no one here will judge your reasoning, we will help and support you.

tell us more about whats going on. does the person you are married to have BPD?

[pearlsw]

Hi Mykesfriend,

I hear how hard it is to stay in an unhappy marriage. I am sorry that you have found yourself in this situation.

What effect do you think it will have on your adult BPD child? Can you share your specific concerns with us?

wishing you peace, pearl.

[Mykesfriend]

Thanks for your responses and kind words.
My adult BPD son lives with us and he and my wife argue a lot She and I have different ways of dealing with him.  She coddles him rather than setting boundaries. It causes a lot of friction in our marriage, to the point that I am ready to leave.  I'm afraid though what effect that would have on him. 
Basically what I am saying is that I am staying in an unhappy marriage because of my BPD son. I don't know what to do. If I stay, I'll be miserable, but if I leave I'm afraid that he will think I'm abandoning him.