Hi hadenoughfred,
I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm glad that you decided to join us, it sounds like you've been getting yourself familiar with BPD and you're trying to tweak some things in your r/s. Bravo for taking such positive steps, I agree with you that it helps to talk about it. If there are BPD things going in my life, I like helping others here or sometimes I'll start a discussion.
You need strong boundaries with a pwBPD, you probably already know that your friend will try to bait you into a fight, we can't control others but what we can control is our thoughts and feelings. Try changing the tempo for yourself around the house by finding something to do, like cleaning your car or going out for an errand. It's something that she is going through at that time and it's not personal to you. What are the main issues? Are you trying to support her with her family issues?
Setting Boundaries and Setting LimitsBoundaries - examples