I have a slightly different perspective on this, we, as a couple don't really have extreme good times or bad times anymore.
She has been in therapy. I've been in therapy and coming here.
My P used to say for every high there is a corresponding low. Apparently my partner's P was saying the same thing.
I try to stay in the middle of the road now. I actually get uncomfortable when I feel like we are drifting into idealization.
I don't put up with a lot of nonsense either. I do accept there are some limitations to the r/s. For instance this week I had a bad time at work. My partner would listen for a couple of minutes and make a good attempt at being supportive but that's not really her thing. She tried but it didn't go too far. I went and got support for the work crisis outside my r/s.
I guess viewing times as good/bad is my own version of black and white thinking.