Book on codependency

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Well I was going to go nc finally and she texted me on day 2. I responded.  On day 3 I spoke with a friend on fb. I told her we had broken up. Told her my suspicions about her having BPD. My friend told me in her life she also made terrible choices. Then stumbled across the book codependency no more. She said it changed her life. She said she's since given that book to others and it's helped them too. She suggested I get two copies. One for me and one for her. See if she would take it

I reached out to her. Asked her to meet me for a few min tonight after work. I told her why. And she agreed. She said it was for her and NOT so we would get back together.

So we did meet. For a coffee. Drank it in her car. Gave her the book. I read something to her. She cried. She said I had caused her pain didn't know if she could ever get back to where she was.  She thought I was the one and why didn't I act better then. Why all of a sudden my feelings are there now. She said no one has ever thought she was good enough. Etc.

Anyhow she said she didn't want to lose me in her life. She cares about me. Etc. but just not to talk about us or a future. She can't handle that. Doesn't want to hurt me. Etc

I told her I would text less. And if she wants to reach out to me she can

Now I've done all I can do.  Maybe she will read book. Maybe not.

But I'm going to try to finally and for all put in gods hands. And detach.

[Scopikaz]

Well I was going to go nc finally and she texted me on day 2. I responded.  On day 3 I spoke with a friend on fb. I told her we had broken up. Told her my suspicions about her having BPD. My friend told me in her life she also made terrible choices. Then stumbled across the book codependency no more. She said it changed her life. She said she's since given that book to others and it's helped them too. She suggested I get two copies. One for me and one for her. See if she would take it

I reached out to her. Asked her to meet me for a few min tonight after work. I told her why. And she agreed. She said it was for her and NOT so we would get back together.

So we did meet. For a coffee. Drank it in her car. Gave her the book. I read something to her. She cried. She said I had caused her pain didn't know if she could ever get back to where she was.  She thought I was the one and why didn't I act better then. Why all of a sudden my feelings are there now. She said no one has ever thought she was good enough. Etc.

Anyhow she said she didn't want to lose me in her life. She cares about me. Etc. but just not to talk about us or a future. She can't handle that. Doesn't want to hurt me. Etc

I told her I would text less. And if she wants to reach out to me she can

Now I've done all I can do.  Maybe she will read book. Maybe not.

But I'm going to try to finally and for all put in gods hands. And detach.

[Mutt]

Hi Scopikaz,

I can see how that would be difficult. I think that you handled this very well.

[kc sunshine]

I had such a similar scenario! Strangely similar.

[Scopikaz]

I still feel that I knew she was overly jealous from

Early on.  I knew she was very needy. Requiring much attention. I knew she was very insecure.   I knew she had a lot happen in life, some self inflicted but still. I just never put them all together and thought deep seated emotional issues.  I could have treated her better I know.

[Mutt]

Scopikaz,

I don't know if you feel the same way. I feel like I couldn't see the forest for the trees when I was in it. I know that I tried my hardest with what I knew at the time. Don't be hard on yourself. Take this time to reflect and learn about yourself and relationships, wisdom that you can move forward with.