First post... am I losing my mind? non-BP spouse

[Depression = 72% of members]

So I went to our local crisis center yesterday after my spouse hinted at suicide. Since she was unwilling to go I went by myself and at intake the counselor said “do you know it’s been a year since the last time you were here?” Last time I went after I experienced a gambit of abusive behavior.
I am sick and tired of this. I don’t want to waste another year doing the same thing. I have been scouring the internet reading every article and site income across. I have tried calling counselors and I am waiting to hear back from them. I tried ALANON last time and still am a part of that. I feel it is only a half measure however.
I started reading the book “walking on eggshells” and found myself in several of the stories and situations. I feel hurt, confused, frustrated, lost, foolish, and bitter.
How CAN this forum help? How HAS it helped? How can I get help for myself? Since I don’t know what to do I thought I would ask for help. Any positive insight would be welcomed.

[Fredjamin]

So I went to our local crisis center yesterday after my spouse hinted at suicide. Since she was unwilling to go I went by myself and at intake the counselor said “do you know it’s been a year since the last time you were here?” Last time I went after I experienced a gambit of abusive behavior.
I am sick and tired of this. I don’t want to waste another year doing the same thing. I have been scouring the internet reading every article and site income across. I have tried calling counselors and I am waiting to hear back from them. I tried ALANON last time and still am a part of that. I feel it is only a half measure however.
I started reading the book “walking on eggshells” and found myself in several of the stories and situations. I feel hurt, confused, frustrated, lost, foolish, and bitter.
How CAN this forum help? How HAS it helped? How can I get help for myself? Since I don’t know what to do I thought I would ask for help. Any positive insight would be welcomed.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Purplex]

Hi Fredjamin and welcome to the family 

I am sorry about what you are going through but I am glad you found us. We are a supportive community and can offer information, tools and advice as well a a virtual shoulder to lean on and a save place to vent and collect your thoughts.
Is this the first time your spouse hinted at suicide?

I started reading the book “walking on eggshells” and found myself in several of the stories and situations. I feel hurt, confused, frustrated, lost, foolish, and bitter.

Would you mind sharing some of these stories and situations? Maybe a recent one?
The more we know about you and your situation, the better we can help you.

[Ozzie101]

Hi Fredjamin! I'd like to join Purplex in welcoming you!

It sounds like you've been dealing with a lot and you shouldn't have to bear it alone. As Purplex said, if you can share some stories with us, we'll know better how we can help. There are a lot of tools and resources here and the members have a lot of personal experience to share!