I was set up to feel this way.
Sharp jab: "It is your fault I am like this dad". Even if true, it hurts knowing you failed as a father, especially coming from your kids.
He is struggling with the right thing to do. His words.
Let's take a look at his side:
For starters I cain't find any validity in what you are saying as for your mother's car is the last thing that he wants - my regrets is that he don't want it
He's defensive, hopefully you can see why: he's trying to "do the right thing" after a lifetime of neglect. He probably doesn't even know what "doing the right thing" even means, so any small gesture he sees as a grandiose act of generosity.
He acknowledges his favoritism, though it may not be simply "all to him".
I don't know your full story, but my dad also looks out particularly after my older brother because he struggled so very much with him growing up. He didn't know how to be a father, so he made too many mistakes with him, and we brothers were simply "well enough adjusted" that he never really "needed" to put too much attention on us, we'd be fine, but he wouldn't, he'd mess up, dad had to look out for him, and it never stopped even after my brother got married, had his kid, graduated first of his class and landed a good job.
So yeah, I get your struggle, try and see his for what it is.
You cain't continue drinking and upset everyone in the family (I have been sober 21 years!)
I can't comment much on this but it seems there's a scar on the whole family from this. Maybe he hasn't processed it, maybe you lost contact during/right after this, maybe he still fears it will happen again, maybe all of the above, no way to know for sure.
I'm not the crook that you think I am and you will do much better. As for as your mother in your childhood days all mothers get frusted and say thing that is far from the way they feel.
In other words: "I'm sorry I was not the father you needed me to be, please forgive me so we can move forward. As for your mom, I truly believe that she didn't mean all those things and did the best she could given the circumstances, unfortunately I have no way to express my sympathy other than to justify her behavior like this"
Same message different words, the "anger frosting" is thin enough that we can hopefully see right through. There is love in there I'm sure, they have very poor skills to show it, and it shows how painful it is for them as well.
I don't know of any family member that against you - You are worst enemy and its wrecking you. I'm guessing but Hitler had plans to control peoples mind, what about Hitler. I'm telling you for your own good that any one thats for TRUMP HAS TURNED AWAY FROM DEMOCRACY, ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS JUST THINK WHAT HAS HE EVER DONE.
My dad feared we would get AIDS from hidden needles in the movie theater seat cushions. It was a mixed "are you for real? like seriously... ." and "aww, you look out for us in the weirdest way dad"
In other words, he cares, but he believes silly things I think your dad is in the same situation.
Dad wasn't quite as bad or maybe my perception is off in regards to him because you don't slap a child when she gets her first kiss from a boy and call her a slut.
The road to hell is paved with the best intentions. They grew up in a different time, and although that doesn't give them the right, they simply didn't know better. You are part of the last generation were this kind of upbringing was being abolished, but not yet completed. My brother is part of that generation too, I was spared the worst of it. We live in a particular time and place in this world, and we don't get to decide. We do get to decide how to move forward from it, how to make our world a better place.
Anyway, talking about wills means talking about death, which is bad enough in a healthy family, let alone a dysfunctional one. I hope my "translation" at least gives you some perspective given what I have experienced as well.
Good luck!