Think I found a pwBPD on a blog board?

[Ceruleanblue]

I've been on a site for step parents off/on for a couple years. I stopped blogging there because there seem to be a gang of what I call "mean women". I saw them trouncing someone one time, and called them out on it(in a nice way). They ran that person off, and there have been others they have too. I figured it would be a matter of time before it came my way, and it did. If you are not in the "mean women" gang, it could happen at any time. You have to have their views, live your life in ways they deem fit, and take their advice basically. As you all know, my three step daughters hate me(likely PD), and my husband is now in DBT and medicated. I was on that blog board during some of my worst times.

I got trounced so badly that someone on there invited me to a private facebook group and said it was a bunch of nicer ladies. Well, I found out that two of the super mean ladies off the other site was on there. For a while, it was okay, but then they started saying hateful things to me, and saying I was lying. I tried to defend myself, but those two wouldn't listen. It caused a shakeup in the group, and one super sweet lady was as appalled as me, and left the group. They kicked me off, which ended up for the good(who needs that crap).

Well, I stayed off the original site for six months or so, but thought it would be safe to blog now. WRONG. I post one blog saying how well things are going, and giving others hope, and the main mean girl jumps on my blog just lambasting me and saying hateful things. Saying I'm a lazy so and so who won't work, that I manipulate  BPDh, that no wonder his girls hate me as I'm a user, that I'll probably live on welfare or my kids someday. That the short time I was on their facebook site that it made her need Xanax. Absolutely hateful, judging stuff. And what's funny is that she is accusing me of things I've seen HER blog about. I've never had anyone be quite that hateful. She got others on the blog to stop posting or to post "oh, we are glad you warned us about HER".

This is a trigger for me as it reminds me of so much of what the step daughters did. Judge and spread lies. Accuse me of lying, when I was not. BPDh's family caught on, but people on the internet won't? She ruined a site I'd always gotten a lot of help and support from. She even mocked me having anxiety. I'm fearful that someday she will do this to someone who is already in a bad place, and they'll commit suicide. One person on the site did commit suicide a few years back, and her husband later came on with an update. I'm no longer suicidal, but this still hurts that this person did this to me.

So many parts of what she said about me, and the way she just would not stop the attack, seems so very, very BPD to me. In the past I used to defend myself to her, but this time, I tried not to. I did post that all she did was judge and twist things I said, and she only knew part of my story, and it wasn't her place to judge.

How do I feel better about this, as it was so triggering? Is online bullying common on some blogs? This site has always had such wonderful people, and I've been through enough the last four years with BPDh and his daughters, I sure didn't need that.

How do I not let this really get to me, and get over the hurt of losing the "right" to blog on a site meant for step life issues, and it's now not a safe place for me?

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[Ceruleanblue]

Oh, and what's ironic is that this person who did this to me, on my happy and upbeat blog, is on her third marriage(which I didn't judge HER for), and it seems she's having huge issues in her marriage. I've noticed on her blogs that she is super controlling of her husband, but of course I never commented on that. I mean super controlling, and she acts superior and almost manly because she's "military"(recently retired). She uses very black and white language, and it's her way or no way.

Is there a way to shake her off, so I can use the site again? I've tried reporting it, but with no success. If it was just her, but she's got her minions joined in now too. Why do some people seem to enjoy hurting others? Is it because her own life is miserable? Just trying to reason this out and stop hurting over this.

I can never understand deliberate meanness. Seeking out someone to be hateful... .

[Daniell85]

dueling blogs? I never really blogged. I could see it as sort of an online journal thing and they could be really cathartic.

But so much drama. Like you really need it in a space you are trying to clear your head in or process your feelings about things. It's a really vulnerable place to be.

You are wanting to stay with a sort of blogging community it sounds like. Part of being in a community is getting to feel you belong and can vocalize to others who are interested in what you have to say.

Similarly to what they say here, you don't have to pick up a flung down gauntlet. And those ladies sound extremely provocative, it would be hard not to.

You seem to me that you are broadly in a really hurt place. You go there, they invalidate you by calling you a liar when you share your experiences. No one needs that. YOU don't need that. Really, your priority here is to take care of yourself.

Is there any way to block her? And each minion as they raise their snouts to add more chaos?

[Meadowslark]

Ooh now this is (sadly) something I'm familiar with.

I had the same problem with my BPDsister ruining an online game for me, with her screaming and spreading lies all while her little minions would lap up every word she would type to them. It's still going on as far as I know.

Just out of curiosity, is this a forum? How is this blogging community set up? Usually there are ways of blocking people on forums or other online communities, especially if the moderators (if their are any) won't respond to your reporting. I blocked my sister on the online game, and all her little fangirls too. When they're blocked, I can't even see them posting anything and they can't send me messages or post on my threads. Is your community set up that way too?

It's a real pain in the rear, but blocking them may be the only way you can enjoy the community again. Don't respond to them. If they post on your blog, delete the posts or block them from posting (if you're able to do that). Most communities will have some sort of security functions that allow you to accomplish this.

Best of luck!

[Ceruleanblue]

It's a site you can blog, and get advice. It's name StepTalk. I see where you can delete a comment or flag it, but I've never done so. I feel like if I did that, it lets them know they are getting to me? I know someone emailed me on that site one time saying anytime one of the mean girls posted on  her site, she'd do just that.

Today, a lady emailed me on there, and told me she hated the mean girl gang too, and had also at one time been on that facebook site, but she and about twelve others left due to all the drama, and that their new fb site has had zero drama, they support each other, and they are friends in real life too that meets up once a year. She made the point that the mean poster who aired my life so publicly(her version of my life), has no friends in real life, and doesn't know how to keep friends. She a bully, she stated. She has enough followers though that people fear her. This same lady told me that several people have told her they flagged the mean girls' messages, so it wasn't just me that thought it was horrid, and totally over the top, not to mention intentional.

I have not gone back on my blog, and I'm no longer responding to her. It's just sad because it was a blog after an absence of six months, and saying that my life now has a lot less drama. I guess the mean poster wanted to put a halt to my lessened drama... .ha, ha.

As far as I can tell, there are no security functions where I can block her from posting on my blogs. I sure wish there were.