Have you reached out to them?
Have you talked to them about other matters or has there been no contact at all?
Let's work through this..lots more questions and of course follow the lead of your T as well.
That being said, you are learning a lesson. Dysfunctional people rarely come from functional families. I was in great with my wife's family...then I saw issues...then it was like it never happened and you for sure NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT...
Compared to my family...disagreements were open..talked about and moved past. And they weren't personal...
Like I had a long standing disagreement with my Father over purchasing land adjacent to our farm. He declined to do so when prices were super cheap. Granted..he had his reasons.
That's very different than either of us thinking we were scum...depraved...etc etc
So...imagine my surprise and seeing a BPDish family going wide open...wow.
I remember my Dad being upset with his brother...(they operated a farm together for a while..my Dad eventually got pissed and bought out his brother).
Wait for it...scumbag...nope..affairs...nope...my Dad didn't like the way his brother expensed feed and ran his books (they weren't "crooked books"..just sloppy)
Oh..the horror. Enough of a horror for my Dad to buy out his brother in a "snit".
So when my wife was convinced she found a baby that I had fathered with another woman...well...I had no clue where to go with something like that..other than prove it didn't happen.
Then..in a blink of an eye my wife agrees it wasn't my child but alleged I still banged this ladies brains out...quit regularly it would seem...
Yeah...back in the early days of BPD FF was quite the ladies man..made them scream regularly...
Reality: FFw and I bumped in to a militant breast feeder in a McDonalds. The baby had the same name as my wife (very unique). Yep..I knew I was screwed when I heard the name...and of course the boobs hanging out with no covering..I mean..
Sigh...the good old days...
Best,
FF