It will be a year next month...

[crushedagain]

... .since I last saw her, my uBPDexgf. It is so hard to believe. Time really does fly. I have not felt like entering into another relationship, and I don't know when I will. I suppose there's the off chance that I meet a woman, but serendipity is the only way. I have no interest in dating sites, etc., trying to force the issue. I sometimes feel like I have baggage after going through those 2 years with her. I still miss her and think of her often.

[pearlsw]

Hi crushedagain,

It is understandable. Relationships are huge investment of time and energy. I came into my current one convinced I'd never do another one after that. The older I get the less excited I am about the prospect of starting all over from zero. I hate to say never, but I understand not being inclined or be out there looking.

What baggage do you feel you have due to this?

What comes to mind when you think of her? Can we help you to be more at peace?

wishing you the best, pearl.

[crushedagain]

I think when I mention "baggage," it's just a general distrust and skepticism after my experience. I feel a bit jaded.

[Cromwell]

Hi crushedagain

I can understand after what youve been through a level of feeling jaded but I dont believe in the case of wishing to meet someone that becoming what should be one of the most important life decisions to make - choice of partner - should be left to serendipity or chance, Zen like.

Knowing what type of partner you want, then using the tools to find them rather than hoping they will come into close proximity seems a higher likelihood of success. You have the experience, even though it has been emotionally difficult, to avoid the types of personality that has caused this jaded outlook. My advice is to not get stuck too long in these thoughts and to think about them without more objectively. 

[udunnome81]

Sept. 17, will be a year since I've seen my wife of 14 years. She abandoned me and our 3 children (11, 10, 3). The 1st of August was the last time I had a hug from anyone but my children. I feel you.

Due to my moral principles, I can't enter another relationship if I wanted to as I am still married to her. Hopefully not for much longer.

Through the process I have lost the house we were renting and now live in my parents basement, I have Narcolepsy with Cataplexy, and 3 children. I hear what you are saying about feeling like there is baggage.