Idealization is a mirroring phase, a.k.a the "Pink Cloud." When two people look into each other's eyes and feel like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. (sorry, but they're good looking people)
Life is a Hollywood movie set, all glossy and shiny, and then... .the character disordered partner slips up... .and Angie furrows her brow and says, why'd ya do that? It's at that point that the fog machine fails and the glitter ball stops spinning and the perfume clears the air only to reveal the smells of a dirty diaper. At that point, the character disordered partner starts tap dancing as a distraction while looking for someone to blame at any cost.
When things really fall apart, he'll either Devalue & Discard the new fresh face, or come back looking for someone who already has his number (second banana) so he can be yelled at and told what a louse he is--and summarily escape her, writing her off as someone who's to blame for all that's gone wrong with his life to the new “act.” (Triangulation
(read definition) works for most character disorders)
That done, he then gets to feel superior and all better all over again--on someone elses back, and at someone elses cost. Either way, it's win/win for his character disorder.
And that's the thing that you'll really see once you stop listening to the charming dialogue--that it's ALL ABOUT HIS DISORDER and how he maintains it.
He will fail miserably if his players refuse to play. It hurts him because it consumes his energy trying to find someone else to blame for the wreck that he is. It hurts him because in those minutes now or sometime in the future where he can't escape being alone with himself, he'll know how terribly apart he is from those who can love.
