Had a dream

[Rose Tiger]

Yes, I know, we are all having those dreams.  This was kind of funny.  I dreamed that I was visiting ex at his new digs.  Fancy place, nice furniture.  There was a party set up in the dining room.  Little girl party stuff, little chairs.  He tells me his daughter (20 yr old) was having a birthday party.

I see out the back window all these little girls in party clothes playing in the backyard with stepdaughter.  Might need Suzn to analyze that. 

Then he leads me to other parts of his mcmansion.  He says this is the best part.  Opens the door to a 7-11.  He says he hangs out here all the time.  Everyone in the store waves 'hi' to him.  They all love him and think he is wonderful.  I say, I've got to go.  He says, what about your gloves and I say, I don't want them, I've got to go.  And I run as fast as I can away from there.  The end.

7-11 would be perfect for ex, open 24/7, anytime he wants to be around people, go to his 7-11. We all act nice in 7-11 don't we?  No pressure, a smiling clerk and you've got your half gallon of milk.  Funny that in this dream, all I wanted to do was escape.  Forget the mittens, I'm gone. 

[myself]

Also, this was Your dream, not his. You were in a place where you could get just about anything you wanted, and you didn't want anything in there. Especially not Him.

[gina louise]

 Rose Tiger,

Party in the dining room might mean refreshment/nourishment. Fun and scant responsibility as a guest.

Little girl party... .  might mean you felt like a child... put down, less than around him? Little chairs-little consequence?

And

Perhaps he babies his 20yo daughter/princess... .  Just a thought.


7-11... .  Convenience!   24 hour, around the clock conveniences! This place-part of his house (Which since it's your dream was really part of you) is there for HIS convenience! THAT"S YOU.

it's not a store... .  it's what it (the store) means, of course. you were only there to tend to his needs.

So part of you KNOWS deeply that you don't want anything to do with HIS sense of McMansion Entitlement /Convenience you hot foot it outta there. with cold hands.    not cold feet?



pretty cool,

GL

[waitaminute]

Things you need on a daily basis to feed your immediate needs. 711

[Rose Tiger]

Wow!  I was the 7-11?  Why that.  Fine.  Going out of business.  Under reconstruction.

I think the little princess angle is correct.  He doesn't want her to grow up and be a responsible adult.  He wants her little and compliant.  A five year old.  That is sad.

Ok, left out one little part.  He showed me the bedroom and we were smooching.  Hey it was a dream so you can't yell at me.  We were interrupted by a creepy guy.  He takes my hand in his wimpy grasped and says, I look forward to seeing more of you, as he eyed me up and down.  He leaves and ex says, that guy is such a loser.

What in sam hill was that about?  Am I the creepy guy?  

[Changed4safety]

My instant hit:  The Creepy Guy is the negative aspect of your ex, the illness aspect.  He wants to see more of you soon.  But even your ex doesn't like him and thinks he's a "loser".  The guy's grasp is wimpy, so he's not so strong you can't be free of him... .  you don't have to "see more of him" if you don't want to. 

[gina louise]

Rose Tiger,

I tend to subscribe to the formula that if it's your dream the symbolism is all about you, and your life.

So did you ever worry that you were a convenience for your ex? or that he used you, waltzing in and out and being chummy to get things he needed out of you?

<gasp!> smooching?       I'd never yell about that.

Hhmmm... .  stbxBPDh and you are smooching and "creepy guy" interrupts you-weak grasp... .  maybe it shows the creepy/ Loser part of your exh has ruined the attraction for you? so, the weak hand hold is just that- A loosening grip on you, from the creepy smarmy part of the attraction to stbxBPDh.

How'd I do?

GL

[ChrisJ31]

I think every dream I have had with her in involved her acting erratically, me confronting her and her raging at me.

So like being back in the crazy relationship but in a dream.

That is good for me as they are not painting the happy times.

[Rose Tiger]

That's right!  The BPD part of ex is very self condemning.  The sweet perfect guy act is the the comorbid NPD guy.  BPD guy is very down on himself.  It was a balancing act to validate BPD guy and state the facts with NPD guy.  I never thought of his BPD side as creepy, I thought of it as sad and felt sorry that he was so down on himself.  Ex did not have any perverted creepy side to him.  I don't either.  Maybe that is the side of me that is afraid of dating? 

Hey Chris, I had that dream and this time, I let him have it.  I yelled so loud at him in my dream.  T said it was good to get that out because I could never do that in real life.  Ex would of become physically abusive.

Dreams can be painful, they can also be insightful.  I remember one dream, long time ago where ex told me "there's a reason my marriages fail".  I was stunned when I woke up.  First insight that it wasn't all me.

[ChrisJ31]

I used to yell back, have right rows, towards the end I just got drunk and cut off.

In the dreams I was just questioning her, watching her run around liying and in a panic and i actually felt confused in the dream like I did in the real relationship.

I can't remember the last one I had with her in, which is good, did have one about my cat who she took to her new life, I grew very attached, that has cut me up more than anything.

[Rose Tiger]

Oh ChrisJ, I'm so sorry.  That is hard to lose your beloved pet. 

[real lady]

Rose Tiger; sounds like some theraputic and cathartic dreams... .  hope that I can have dreams like that after I leave my uBPDso... .  I had him in my dream the other night and except for "looking as he did years ago" (hot), he was DOING the same thing that he is doing now... .  NOT caring about what is going on with me and reading a comic book (in reality he is on a role playing game)... .  

I can't help but think that these dreams are so HEALTHY for us... .  helps us MOVE ON and realize JUST HOW they have been with us and HOW WE DESERVE BETTER... .  

[Rose Tiger]

Yes we do!  I think I enjoy the ex dreams because I can say and do what I want, couldn't do that in real life and it frustrated me to pieces.  That we couldn't talk.  So in the dreams, I let it out.  Feels good!  It felt good to run out of that 7-11. 

[real lady]

LOL... .  I bet... .  probably even better than how I felt in my dream... .  will add it to a thread... .   

[schwing]

Hi Rose Tiger,

Yes, I know, we are all having those dreams.  This was kind of funny.  I dreamed that I was visiting ex at his new digs.  Fancy place, nice furniture.  There was a party set up in the dining room.  Little girl party stuff, little chairs.  He tells me his daughter (20 yr old) was having a birthday party.

I see out the back window all these little girls in party clothes playing in the backyard with stepdaughter.  Might need Suzn to analyze that.  

I've certainly had my share of such dreams.  It'd be interesting to see what Suzn might think.  Here's my interpretation:

You see him as a collector of little girls.  He uses his daughter as the lure: birthday party!  From the outside, this looks like a pretty neat place to play.  A lot of fun for the right kind of princess.  Kind of like the way a gingerbread house decorated with lots of yummy candy would be neat for little starving German kids.

Then he leads me to other parts of his mcmansion.  He says this is the best part.  Opens the door to a 7-11.  He says he hangs out here all the time.  Everyone in the store waves 'hi' to him.  They all love him and think he is wonderful.  

In your dream, your BPD loved one reveals the true nature of his abode: it is a convenience store for him.  Here he gets anything and everything he wants and needs, all at his beck and call.  Which is pretty handy for someone who has very interchangeable needs and wants.  You never know what your next impulsive desire might be.  Good thing I have a 7-11 store built into the heart of my home.  And it is all fueled by the little girls I collect.

I say, I've got to go.  He says, what about your gloves and I say, I don't want them, I've got to go.  And I run as fast as I can away from there.  The end.

But you know what lurks inside the gingerbread house.  You will not willingly walk into an oven and be cooked by the wicked witch.

Best wishes,

Schwing

[Rose Tiger]

I just got back from the movies.  Saw the movie Mama.  Your analysis gave me the shivers!    I'll be sleeping with a nightlight for awhile.

In the dream, when I was looking out the window at the little girls, ex was blathering on about how he went with his daughter on her job interview and they met this wonderful group.  I thought, he went with her on a job interview?  Hi, I'm here to interview and I brought my dad, best hire me or he will take care of you.  

The convenience store, he helped with the bills with giving me funds but I admin'd all that, I did the cleaning, the shopping, the cooking.  He was busy playing, RC plane, volunteer fireman, golf, making bullets out back in the shed, bike rides.  I'd ask to bike ride with him and he'd say I wasn't a good enough technical rider to keep up with him.  Jerk.  I'm fairly awesome on my rock hopper.  I was a 7-11 for him, took care of all mundane things, worked full time and took care of everything.  How convenient.  I figure the creepy guy was him, if I put on my Shallow Hal glasses.

[Rose Tiger]

Resurrecting this thread.  I was running errands after work today and drove by the place ex and I first met.  The bar and grill was demolished, which I knew about.   They have rebuilt.  It is now a 7-11.  Had to smile as I drove by... .  life sure is strange sometimes.  

Sure, it's starts out a bar and grill and then, it's all gone and all you have left is a 7-11.  There is a moral to the story in there somewhere!

[real lady]

LOL... .  interesting.

[ChrisJ31]

After saying I haven't had a dream with her in for ages. I had one a few nights ago.

I was at my parents and she came back trying to get back with me, saying she had made a mistake and left the new man and wasn't seeing anyone else, good thing is I wasn't falling for the bs.

My mum and friend who was also there, were very forthcoming with there words and she started crying sat on the floor leaning against the wall.

I was looking at her but although I felt sorry for her I had no desire to help her or make her feel better.

Then I think she left or I woke up, can't remember.

I believe this was a good dream as it shows I'm detaching from her and what was.

[Rose Tiger]

That's great, Chris! 

[ChrisJ31]

It certainly seemed to make sense