recommended books on BPD

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

What books would you suggest to further my knowledge on BPD?  I've already read walking on eggshells.  I'm looking for something that will help me further understand the pathological nature of the disorder and maybe even offer some insight into why i was drawn to this type of person. 

Thanks in advance

[healingmyheart]

What books would you suggest to further my knowledge on BPD?  I've already read walking on eggshells.  I'm looking for something that will help me further understand the pathological nature of the disorder and maybe even offer some insight into why i was drawn to this type of person. 

Thanks in advance

[LoveNotWar]

"High Conflict Couple" by Fruzetti. Gives some good strategies for communicating and avoiding blow ups.

If you are experiencing verbal and/or physical abuse " Why Does He DO That" by Bancroft. This is written mostly regarding male abusers however the lessons about an abuser needing power and control  are good and universal.

Hope this helps get you started... .  

LNW

[healingmyheart]

LoveNotWar,

Thank you so very much! I'll check them out... .  any other suggestions?  I see to be obsessed with BPD right now and can't get enough info.

[refuge]

I'd have to say Alice in Wonderland is at the top of my list when it comes to seeing what a personality/dissociative disorder really looks like.

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.

The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.

Alice: How do you know I'm mad?

The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

Alice: And how do you know that you're mad?

The Cat: To begin with, a dog's not mad. You grant that?

Alice: I suppose so,

The Cat: Well, then, you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.

[Leaf]

Hi Stolemysoul, Before I broke up with my BPDbf I found 'The essential family guide to BPD' by Randi Kreger extremely useful, especially some stuff about abuse and Stockholm syndrome. But Kreger is the co-author of 'Stop walking on eggshells', which I haven't read, so the contents might overlap.

I also read 'Loving someone with BPD' but I thought that would be more relevant to low functioning people with BPD. Also suicide was mentioned a lot and my ex wasn't the suicidal type.

Because like your ex my ex is BPD (w/NPD traits) I've just ordered 'Narcissistic Lovers: How to Cope, Recover and Move on' by Cynthia Zayn. I like the title but I haven't read it yet.

In order not to make the same mistake again I found 'Mars and Venus on a date' very useful. I had some prejudice against that Mars and Venus stuff and I've never read the original bestseller, but a senior on this board advised it so it had to be good  and it was.

[healingmyheart]

Thank you Leaf!  Let me know how you like Narcissistic Lovers and if you would recommend it.  I'll check it out too... .  really appreciate your advise.

[recoil]

I know what you mean about becoming obsessed with reading books about BPD.  Here are some that I have read over the past seven months:

Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy [This is for myself; I like this book a lot.]

The Seven Levels of Intimacy [Showed me why a relationship with my EX would never truly work, as she was scared of intimacy.]

Let Go Now - Embracing Detachment

Codependent No More

The Practicing Mind

High-Conflict Couple

I Hate You - Don't Leave Me.

Stop Walking on Eggshells

The White Knight Syndrome

Understanding the Borderline Mother [Love, love this book.]

The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (Decided to read the journals of someone who was BPD and a good writer -- sort of an "inside look" if you will).

For Your Own Good

[SarahinMA]

I'm sure some of these will be repeats from earlier posts:

I Hate You- Don't Leave Me: interesting, but my ex didn't rage a lot; more internal raging.

When He's Married to Mom: I found this one super interesting.  My ex was totally enmeshed with his mother before we met.  She still called him at least once a day. 

He's Scared, She's Scared: This was more for my own benefit- helping me figure out my pattern in choosing emotionally unavailable men. 

The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: dealing with my detachment and my struggles after the breakup

Living with the Passive Aggressive Man

Emotional Unavailability

[slimmiller]

Some have been recomended that I have not read so cant comment on those. The ones on top of my list is of 'Walking on Eggshells' and my latest and one of the most informative is 'the borderline mother'  Its pricey but worth it. It not only helps me to understand the condition itself but also what makes them so to speak. I now clearly see her mother as BPD with slight NPD. Also it helps me to understand how to better deal with/protect my own children and hope and pray to God I can at least somewhat protect them from her.

I am not trying to make her out to be a monster but she is sick and does not function in the normative sense. I think its important to understand the illness in the formative years

[healingmyheart]

Btw, my counselor said she's heard of a book from a client called "A Wolf in Sheeps Clothing"... .  she's not read it yet but does anyone know anything about it or read it? 

[LoveNotWar]

Oh wait... .  here's a GOOD one to understand the mind of a person with BPD.

"Get Me Out of Here: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder" by Rachel Reiland

This BPD recovered, which isn't always the case, but it gives insight on the thought process for pw/BPD.

[healingmyheart]

Thank you all!  Guess I've got some reading to do.  I wonder how long it is healthy to obsess about BPD especially after the partner is gone... .  well, almost gone.  At some point, I've got to let go and live but I'm still searching for validation and just answers.

[DreamGirl]

Excellent suggestions! (My first book was SWOE as well)

I have to admit that I am not very good at reading books the whole way thru.   

I wanted to suggest other reading material, not just books, that are included in this list:

Suggested Reading

[stevenq]

i read it. it was helpful.

[real lady]

I think I have nearly read EVERY one that has been written... .  of course, Randi's "Walking on Eggshells" is a ground breaker for BPD but I found one that "spoke to me more directly" about my person with BPD and how to "handle" myself and situation.

Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder by Valerie Poor... .  I highly recommend it.