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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Hate  (Read 473 times)
PM10
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« on: April 01, 2013, 10:26:49 PM »

I am having a hard time with his hatred and bitterness.  I am not even sure I can articulate this correctly.

In the many times that I have tried to end the relationship, he has always expressed that he feels such bitterness and hatred for me.  I am trying to understand this.  I can understand his being angry with me, sure.  But hate?

I have never felt hate.  I always just feel hurt.  I guess both are unhealthy, but which one is more "normal"?  Normal meaning healthy, I guess.

I hope that made sense!
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VeryFree
Formerly known as 'VeryScared' and 'ABitAnnoyed'
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced
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« Reply #1 on: April 02, 2013, 01:41:08 AM »

love, hate, hurt. They all are very close to each other.

Love can become hate very easy, especially when you're hurt.

Realize that it are all just words... .  
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Clearmind
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
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« Reply #2 on: April 02, 2013, 05:10:24 AM »

Take your feelings then magnify them by 10! That is how he feels about himself - its not about you at all PM10.

I am sorry you are hurting. Remind yourself what you are holding onto and what is stopping you from letting go.
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PM10
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« Reply #3 on: April 02, 2013, 08:14:43 AM »

Well, part of what keeps me from letting go IS his hatred.  It makes me feel really awful that he hates me.  I feel bad, and guilty.

I guess I am not understanding how this is NOT about me.  He doesn't feel that way about anyone else.  Just me.  It makes me feel like a horrible person!
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