Hi benny2,
Do I dare confront him with this? Maybe hes not even aware of what hes doing. Should I ask him if this is what he wants? Or is it best to sit it out? I am trying to be understanding. I told him you know I love you and he replied yep. Its so hard.
confrontation is not a good idea when you don't have all the facts and even then. When he is not willing or able to be open and share more then this may well be irritating, worrying and frustrating for you. Dealing with the your frustration is your problem.
On the other hand ignoring what is happening is not a good idea either. "I love you" may be helpful sometimes but it tends to invalidate people in trouble. His behavior is sending a signal - whatever it exactly means. Validating that you are perceiving a change of behavior that is indicating possibly some sort of trouble on his side may be a way to get him talking. And if he is not willing to do that right away it is his choice, at least the elephant (silence) is half way out of the room.