Strange thing: looking different

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Today I saw something very strange.

I was going through old pictures, because I was looking for one special. The one I was looking for was not of my stbx, but there were different ones of her, especially from in the beginning of our life together, which was 10 years ago.

I was looking at them and was struck: the woman in the pictures was the one I fell in love with! The woman that I am going to divorce is not the woman in that pictures! She now is looking so very very different as she was 10 years ago. Not prettier, not less, not just aged; just different! I know that appearances change in 10 years, but not in this way.

Any explanation? 

[VeryFree]

Today I saw something very strange.

I was going through old pictures, because I was looking for one special. The one I was looking for was not of my stbx, but there were different ones of her, especially from in the beginning of our life together, which was 10 years ago.

I was looking at them and was struck: the woman in the pictures was the one I fell in love with! The woman that I am going to divorce is not the woman in that pictures! She now is looking so very very different as she was 10 years ago. Not prettier, not less, not just aged; just different! I know that appearances change in 10 years, but not in this way.

Any explanation? 

[atcrossroads]

Can you describe how she looks different besides the added years?  In what way?  Style (hair, clothes, etc) or what?

[expos]

Today I saw something very strange.

I was going through old pictures, because I was looking for one special. The one I was looking for was not of my stbx, but there were different ones of her, especially from in the beginning of our life together, which was 10 years ago.

I was looking at them and was struck: the woman in the pictures was the one I fell in love with! The woman that I am going to divorce is not the woman in that pictures! She now is looking so very very different as she was 10 years ago. Not prettier, not less, not just aged; just different! I know that appearances change in 10 years, but not in this way.

Any explanation? 

I think the illness takes a lot out of them.  Their mind is a constant state of turmoil... .   and happiness projects itself from the inside out.  Stress is just a huge factor.  For reference, I noticed a huge difference in my parent's appearance after my brother got hit by a truck and was in a coma for a week.  They looked like they aged 10 years in a course of 6 months while he rehabbed.  These were tough times.

My exBPD-wife's appearance during our final stages of divorce was rough, to be honest.  She lost a ton of weight, looked haggard, tired, and unhealthy.         

[VeryFree]

Can you describe how she looks different besides the added years?  In what way?  Style (hair, clothes, etc) or what?

A totally different person, but it's not about a different style. A person can change that, but behind other haircolour, other clothes you see the person.

It is about the total appearance: the way she smiled back then, the speaking of the eyes, the positive attitude that was very clear.

Maybe I'm seeing things because of I know back then things seemed good and now there's nothing more than hate, but... .   well I wonder.

[Whichwayisup]

I have done exactly the same thing today while hunting for my marriage sent in order to file... .   I thought the same, as close to a pregnant 'glow' a certain quality of happiness and dare I say contentment that was there at the time.  I have left pics up around my house for the benefit of the kids (removed marriage pics) and whilst I do look and think they were happier times, I do see that she is physically more under pressure.  My W has lost 2 stone in weight in the last four months... .   This coincided with a flare up of rages in dec, jan, I've just realised that could be a correlation actually... .   wow, and led to adultery... .   Amazing... .   Anyway I digress, I think there's merit in this... .   I spoke with her on 18th March and whilst she said she still loved me, she was a shell of her former self... .   Like all hope had left her... .  

Whichwayisup