After 3 months, I was contacted

MakeItHappen

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 116

After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?

« on: April 10, 2013, 01:07:00 PM »

It's been about 3 months of NC. Out of nowhere, my exBPD/NPD contacted me a few days ago. I have not responded.

I really thought, I would NEVER hear from her again. At least, not this soon.

My exBPD/NPD IS in a relationship with someone else.

As some other posters have said:"The likely only reason they would contact us anyway is because their supply is running low."

Care to share your thoughts? Similar experiences? What you did?

Thanks.


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seeking balance

Retired Staff

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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Relationship status: divorced
Posts: 7146

Re: After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?

« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2013, 01:10:44 PM »

Yeah, it can be a bit shocking when they come out of the blue. First, simply breathe and get quiet with yourself. Where are you emotionally? Are you detached?

This contact is a great gauge as to where you are emotionally.

Obviously, you are the only one who knows whether you want to respond... . if you do, unless you are totally detached with zero expectation, your world is about to get a bit unstable again.


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Faith does not grow in the house of certainty - The Shack

paperlung

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 448

Re: After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?

« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2013, 01:27:49 PM »

How did she get a hold of you?

Stay safe, OP.


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laelle

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Gender: Female

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 1737

Re: After 3 months, I was contacted - What to do?

« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2013, 02:00:09 PM »

That their supply is running low is a little harsh, its more like they "NEED" something and they see you as the one to provide that for them.

Therefore... . tada... . your turned good again. If you act as the idealized boyfriend/girlfriend should you will get a big cookie and some idealization to go with it. Its not intentional manipulation, its a means of survival.

If you ignore them, they may make attempts to FOG you, but if you stay firm, they will go find someone else who might be more willing to fill their NEEDS


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