Growth because of troubles?

[VeryFree]

Maybe not an interesting topic, but just wanted to share something I went through today.

The setting:

I had a rough day. Being at work I got some information about my stbBPDw. It was nothing new: just heard again she was painting me black and herself being an innocent victim. In the meanwhile I can't make any settlement with her regarding anything, meaning it will go through lawyers, which will cost me $$$$. I'm having difficulties with her (all people) being unreasonable, but it also doesn't feel good that this kind of thing can happen, without anything I can do about it. Justice, reason and keeping things into my own hand... .   Some of my most precious values! And those get crushed these days (the last decade).

After work I went for some 2nd-hand furniture. Yes I have I house full of it, but my stbx is living there and doesn't want to share anything (and our law says she doesn't have to). So Very is buying some old stuff.

The things I bought were nice, but didn't fit my car at once. Besides one of the items was to big for one man to carry it. Normally I have a problem of asking things for myself, so probably I would have taken the small items first, unloaded them and would go back for the big one. To drive around with it for some time, untill I had a friend or family over to help.

Today I went for a different approach: feeling lightly unhappy about it, I asked the seller if he maybe could give me a hand with unloading at my house. A big surprise for me: not a problem and he offered to drive a long with his own car so I wouldn't have to drive twice.

Remarkable: almost 40 and today I felt victory for asking something for myself.

Personal growth because of troubles with my stbx?

[Diligence]

Congratulations for asking for help, VeryScared!

I got furniture for myself after my divorce.  Craigslist.org lists all kinds of local used furniture for sale.  I met the nicest people while populating my home with "new" furnishings from that website.

I think we can respond to trouble in two ways:  seek escape or change.  You are definitely choosing the better of the two ways.  But, change is hard.  At least it is for me.

Warm regards!

[Maryiscontrary]

Yes, asking for reasonable help is a very humanly natural think to do. For man to man help, it really establishes a healthy male bond. Bromance.

[Surnia]

VeryScared

I like these little every day life situations which can tell us something. Like your victory today about asking for help. 

I am in the same boat, btw.

Personal growth because of troubles with my stbx?

Yes, yes and yes! For me it is so true. 

[VeryFree]

Thanks for your replies.

It's those little things that get us going towards a better future I guess.