
Hi molldoll,
A very warm welcome to you. I'm glad you found this site. You will find a lot of support and encouragement here. There are lots of people who are in similar situations and there are tools to make things better.
I'm sorry that your dad doesn't seem to want to work on his issues or be part of the family right now. I understand your hurt No one can help your dad, without his active participation, but you can definitely feel better yourself and even improve your relationship with him. There is hope!
What behaviors are causing you the most problems right now?  :)oes your dad live near you/with you? Are your parents still married?
Here is a link which may be helpful for you right now:
Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD You mentioned boundaries, which are very important in these kinds of relationships:
BOUNDARIES: Upholding our values and independenceKeep writing, it helps to share your story. We are here to support you - we care.
heartandwhole