I have been reading here about the value of Schema Therapy for recovery in BPD. I found this link on my favorites list, and it feels good to realize that I am working into the "Healty Adult Mode" more and more. I can see where I have been over the past 25 years of treatments and therapies by reading this summary. Here is the link to begin:
www.schematherapy.com/id30.htmI am mostly posting on the 'supporting our BPDkids' board. My family includes my BPDDD27 (recently evicted from our home, though not totally from our lives), dh, gd7 (dh and I have custody since a babe) and me. My personal journey was filled with memories of depression and dissociation in FOO - they were a big loving normal happy as anyone else's kind of family. Tried at various stages to 'blame' FOO - just not real. Think I was born with tendency for sadness which made me vulnerable. At age 33, when DD was age 3, my life was spinning out of control with too many roles and not enough perfection (mommy, wifey, CPA,... . ) and I ended up seeking therapy from the woman that had done our psych evals for our adoption of DD (at 3 weeks). She helped me sort out solutions to practical needs, referred me to pdoc for dx of bipolar and meds (a long journey to find the right ones). I knew there was something more below the surface so after 2 years with her sought out a pdoc to focus on my emotional needs. That opened a pandora box of crap that led to day treatment/suicide attempt/inpatient/day treatment --- until the insurance and money ran out.
This all created such an invalidating environment for my little girl who was born with her own temperamental tendencies and difficulties. What a skewed mix. I did my best at each point along the way - know now so much more than I did then - can't undo the past. So am working to make the future better -- first for my own strength, then to protect and nuture gd, and to recreate my marriage r/s. DD is her own adult -- I am learning to let go of thinking I can influence her path. I need to be her validating friend more than anything, and sometimes case manager related to her learning disabilty issues. The recovery from the guilt I have carried is hard.
What reading the Schema Theory info has given me tonight is
[url=https://bpdfamily.com/content/communication-skills-validation]validation[/b][/url] that all the things I have worked on to keep on a healing path for all these years is moving in a generally positive direction. So I can keep on working, reading, talking with my T, my friends, understanding ones in my family. And keep on finding ways to connect in healthy, safe ways with my DD.
The journey doesn't end as long as I breath.
qcr
