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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Stopping contact  (Read 436 times)
duncanville1
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« on: August 16, 2013, 09:29:40 AM »

So the diagnosed BPDexgf now emails me on a semi-regular basis, I guess when she wants too. This starts after she emails me all night on Wednesday about how I need to expose who she really is to everyone by destroying her in our child custody case which she filed against me. Just now I ask her if she wants me out of her life. She responds with "yes". I tell her I will never contact her again if this is truly what she wants. She responds with "I do not want to be bothered". I reply back with "Bothered? I am the father of your child and we lived together until a couple of weeks ago. I have no idea what to do with all this. You are not happy with me, and not happy without me given what you have been doing." She never responded.

WTH should I do with this? She won't cut ties with me out right but she will not talk to me unless its on her terms. I think I need to cut contact with her completely and simply deal with the courts. I do not understand why she can't just tell me.

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Perfidy
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Divorced/18 years Single/5 months that I know of.
Posts: 1594



« Reply #1 on: August 16, 2013, 09:37:53 AM »

That is exactly what the courts are for. Don't get in too big of a hurry. If you cannot establish what you need to with her then go to the courts. Don't let her do it. You do it. But as far as no contact have contact if you can but only for the child.
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