Its almost like having a zombie or something, can't explain exactly but its really weird.
This has me rolling on the floor
simplyasiam, you probably realize that you're caught inbetween a rock and a hard place. You realize that you can't trust what your BPDex says, but at the same time the only way to take her back is to trust what she says. Do you really want her back? Can you take her back knowing full well that you cannot trust her? Let's remember we live in reality, not a fairy tale, and once somebody loses our trust it typically takes forever for them to earn it back if they ever can. And lots of time they never will, and this is not just pwBPD but true of anybody who loses our trust.
If you don't want her back and want to be NC, then don't go half measures. Set up your email to dump her messages to trash or be deleted immediately, but don't have them bounce back to her. For them to just go to trash she won't know, to have them bounce back to her is a reaction that she will interpret however she wants. Block her phone texts.