day 8 n/c and she is emailing me again

[simplyasiam]

ex never seems to make it more then a week without contacting me! 7am this morning i get email saying... . i hope your doing ok, if you dont want me to messade you anymore i will understand, i just wanted to cheack on you!.

its seems to me i always have to read between the lines with her.

at this point i dont know what to make of wht she is saying i know im stronger now i do ok reading what she sends me. i have a crash plain for when she contacts... . someone i can txt or call that understand and is here for me.

not sure if she really just making sure the man she was with for 6 years is doing ok six months after she left. shes sent that same message almost word for word many times before and before i have answered why would my answer be diffrent now?

or is this her making sure ill talk to her/still waiting on her when and if she wants me?

she just missed me?

[seeking balance]

she just missed me?

She probably had an intense fear and you are one of her coping tools, to make sure you are still there. 

Trying to read too much into these things can drive us crazy.

Have you ever actually said "don't text or email me"?

Does her doing this hurt your ability to detach or does it validate your reason for detaching?

[bauers220]

ex never seems to make it more then a week without contacting me! 7am this morning i get email saying... . i hope your doing ok, if you dont want me to messade you anymore i will understand, i just wanted to cheack on you!.

its seems to me i always have to read between the lines with her.

at this point i dont know what to make of wht she is saying i know im stronger now i do ok reading what she sends me. i have a crash plain for when she contacts... . someone i can txt or call that understand and is here for me.

not sure if she really just making sure the man she was with for 6 years is doing ok six months after she left. shes sent that same message almost word for word many times before and before i have answered why would my answer be diffrent now?

or is this her making sure ill talk to her/still waiting on her when and if she wants me?

she just missed me?

Oh this sounds so familiar! I understand the emotions you are going through.  On the one hand you want to be released from this up and down, on the other hand you are relieved she is still there too.

From my experience - the contact is step one.  Mine usually start with... . "I know you hate me but... . " Its always something.  This place is a god send for me.  I can read what others are going through and each time it feels and sounds like my life I know I am right to stay away.

[blurry]

Wow bauer, same here, "I know you hate me". So many of the things my pwbd does seems beyond crazy to me, it becomes almost eerie. It feels like the movie groundhog day to me, yet during her recycle attempt, she repeats the same things every time. And I'm sitting there in shock that she doesn't seem to realize she's repeating the same lines of bs, verbatim from the past 6 or 7 times. Its almost like having a zombie or something, can't explain exactly but its really weird.

[simplyasiam]

hello Seeking yes i have told her a few times point blank no to contact me.

22o in mny i want her back but cant talk to her till her action match her words and she is single i want no part of cheating and ive told her that

[simplyasiam]

hello blurry your right it is scary how ex uses same line over and over ihave had that emial or not or txt many many times over the years and atleast 3 times this summer but this break over the last to months she will not complet the recyce she talks about leaving new gut and caoming back but backs out the next day.

i think part of it is the her kids and not wanting to move them again and confuse them more but im really not sure what shes up to

[Learning_curve74]

Its almost like having a zombie or something, can't explain exactly but its really weird.

This has me rolling on the floor 


simplyasiam, you probably realize that you're caught inbetween a rock and a hard place. You realize that you can't trust what your BPDex says, but at the same time the only way to take her back is to trust what she says. Do you really want her back? Can you take her back knowing full well that you cannot trust her? Let's remember we live in reality, not a fairy tale, and once somebody loses our trust it typically takes forever for them to earn it back if they ever can. And lots of time they never will, and this is not just pwBPD but true of anybody who loses our trust.

If you don't want her back and want to be NC, then don't go half measures. Set up your email to dump her messages to trash or be deleted immediately, but don't have them bounce back to her. For them to just go to trash she won't know, to have them bounce back to her is a reaction that she will interpret however she wants. Block her phone texts.