Do they ever learn?

[PyneappleDays]

Phewy

What a train wreck falling off the track

1st month in school (I received) 1 phone call, kicked out of one (her apt.)1 phone call in the midaughterle of the day to move her out and today's her birthday.

Do they ever learn?  Same flippen mistake.

Why does she smell?  Is it the chemical imbalance?  Is it her or does anyone else have this problem.

I previous post I stated my now 19 year old daughter has problem with relationships, school.  She does not live with me because she can't follow the rules and does not understand why I don't drop everything to come recuse her.  She blames everyone and refuses to get help.  She is on OW but wants to go on disability.

She is a good little worker if she puts her mind to it.  She would do better if she was in therapy and on meds.

I tell her I'm listening but you need to come up with solutions.  I'm not running every time something happens.  Which sends her in a tizzy.  ( I know I'm showing my age)

I will take her out for coffee and a cake for her birthday but I want to tell her if she whines I walk.

So really I don't know who is the train wreck her or me?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

So really I don't know who is the train wreck her or me?

Well, generally, as a parent of a BPD child, we both are    But, seriously, things do sound tough for you, and tough for her. Does your daughter have an awareness of her disorder? I know you say she won't take Therapy, but is she unable to understand her troubles? It's really frustrating for us as parents to watch our kids self-destruct and be feeling helpless to do anything about it! I'm so sorry this is happening in your life... .

Have you been doing any reading on this site? You've probably already noticed the Suggested Reading for members who are supporting a son or daughter with BPD and What can a parent do? links at the top of this Board's page, but they really are very helpful in figuring out how to deal with the ups and downs of parenting a BPD child. Even if you've already read them, I like to go back over this stuff (can't remember all of it when I first read it) from time to time--especially finding the exact subject I am dealing with specifically--when in a conundrum over what I need to understand or do... .

Sometimes, just major Radical Acceptance of my BPD son (36) and his many symptoms and behaviors, is a start... .And I can calm down, get my bearings, and breathe again    And, sometimes, just having a good rant gets it out of my system and I can live peacefully again (for at least a little while!). I'm hoping you are feeling better now... .

[PyneappleDays]

I've learned to ride this wave from a distance.  They come too often.  Meaning I just listen.  I am scared for her but if I don't distance myself i can't help her.  Yes I periodically read the suggestions and books.  I have three right now and have suggested my partner do the same.  I understand she's hurting (daughter). and can be sympathetic but they're her choices.

I am looking into the Guelph Homewood facility but I heard it's not atainable.  Cross fingers.  Has anyone heard good things about this place.  I thought members were from the states.

She's aware of somethings from her DBT training but still thinks she doesn't need help.  She actuaaly thinks she just needs the money.

PyneappleDays 

[Rapt Reader]

Hey, PyneappleDays... .

I do live in the States (as do many of the members of this site), but haven't heard of the Guelph Homewood facility; what type of place is it? Maybe someone else will pipe in that is familiar with the program.

What helped my son with his recovery process was the intensive 21-day Dual Diagnosis Program he completed this past April. Prior to that program, he'd been through 2 other "normal" rehabs within 3 years (though diagnosed with ADD, Depression, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Ideation and Substance Abuse--the reason for the rehabs--he was only diagnosed with BPD at the Dual Diagnosis Center). He just could never remain clean and sober (7 months now!) before this 21-day stay, where he got the new BPD dx that changed his life, his attitude, his willingness to "get better" finally.

Your daughter may not have all the symptoms, behaviors and diagnoses my son has been dealing with, but if it's a fit, I highly recommend a Dual Diagnosis Program (it's for people with mental health issues along with a 2nd dx, like SA, SI, etc.). If you think you want to know more about all of that, at the bottom of my post is a link to his story... .I wish you all the best; I know it's really hard dealing with all of this