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Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
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She keeps on pushing
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Topic: She keeps on pushing (Read 418 times)
Knowingishalf
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 140
She keeps on pushing
«
on:
October 14, 2013, 09:37:50 AM »
Wow what a weekend. I was looking forward to beginning to move my personal belongings to my parents in preparation for my upcoming divorce. I was about 10 days out from moving out and blam! She got me. She was driving her car and wrecked in to a tree. She is 100% fine and I am not heartless, but this just smashes in all my plans. I guess you know what they say about the best laid plans. There are a couple more kickers here.
1. I have been planning a bankruptcy here as well, with out that car loan I don't meet the means test
2. Because my finances are so bad we can not purchase a new car, plus were I to it would prevent my options on filing.
3. She drops some info that she is "late" - we haven't been together in around 4 months... .Weird right?
So I think she is trying to give me a heart attack with stress.
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nevaeh
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 244
Re: She keeps on pushing
«
Reply #1 on:
October 14, 2013, 09:57:15 AM »
Oh wow... .did she know you were planning on leaving?
About 3 years ago I was preparing to divorce my uBPDh. I had a consultation with a lawyer and had lined things up with my parents to borrow the money needed for the retainer, which was significant because kids involved. I had been taking various files to work to scan so I had copies... .things like birth certificates, life insurance, car titles, etc. I had the appointment set for a Tuesday and BLAM... .the Thursday prior to that H confronts me and asks me if I want a divorce... .he has noticed I have been acting weird. I tell him that yes, I am thinking about it and that I had an appointment with a lawyer. He spent the entire weekend glued to me, except for that Saturday morning he had to "run errands" and I realized later that he had taken my office keys and had come to my office to see what I had stashed away here. H vowed to change and he was a wreck the entire weekend (and, by default, so was I). I didn't realize he had gone to my office until I got to work on Monday and noticed things were not as I had left them. H started therapy the following week, went a total of 3 times and then declared that he felt he could "fix himself" so he quit going. I think H has things "booby-trapped" in our files now so he will know if I am getting in to files. To be honest I find it really creepy.
Anyway, you saying that she wrecked the car made me wonder if she found out or knew of your plans and did this as a way to stop everything. Are you thinking this is a possibility? I think my H has a sixth sense about these things and when he senses me pulling away there are certain things he does to try and draw me back in. Frustrating, to say the least.
I hope you can get through this obstacle quickly and keep moving forward with your plans.
Take care... .
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DragoN
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Posts: 996
Re: She keeps on pushing
«
Reply #2 on:
October 14, 2013, 10:00:05 AM »
When it rains it pours. Reads like a head smashed in event coming up.
Excerpt
She drops some info that she is "late" - we haven't been together in around 4 months... .Weird right?
Very! And typical. She may have gotten the scent in the wind that you are on the ejection path. Now she is trapping you. IF you are certain that the child is Not yours, and you won't know without DNA testing, mind you also get an ultrasound, you should be able to guess the age of the fetus. Do not do the wild thing without protection. Regardless her claims to be on the pill.
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Knowingishalf
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 140
Re: She keeps on pushing
«
Reply #3 on:
October 14, 2013, 10:07:15 AM »
Never, never with out protection, I do not feel she is capable of raising another child she isn't with our first. I don't know if she knew but I believe she is on the sent. I do think she may be missed due to stress and nothing nefarious, but why bring it up? She has a history of going months sometimes between. Also I have been keeping extra track and I know counting from out last time( a moment of weakness on my part) she had 1 after that, but I know that doesn't always mean anything... . Arg my chest already wants to implode and it is only Monday.
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DragoN
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Posts: 996
Re: She keeps on pushing
«
Reply #4 on:
October 14, 2013, 10:18:16 AM »
Excerpt
Arg my chest already wants to implode and it is only Monday.
Breathe in, breathe ouuuuuuuut... .
Focus on what you know you Can Do, and leave the rest. It'll still be there.
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Knowingishalf
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 140
Re: She keeps on pushing
«
Reply #5 on:
October 14, 2013, 10:21:07 AM »
You should tell that to my time sheet I am currently ignoring... .
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DragoN
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Posts: 996
Re: She keeps on pushing
«
Reply #6 on:
October 14, 2013, 10:26:09 AM »
Procrastinator
Get thyself back to work!
I'm just as bad though... . But... .then I get busy
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