Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
November 01, 2024, 12:33:00 AM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Lunch
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Lunch (Read 404 times)
Cloudy Days
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1095
Lunch
«
on:
February 06, 2014, 09:03:54 AM »
My husband over and over again has requested that I not have lunch alone with another man. I am ok with this because it's not something I really care to do. However, every now and then there is a sales rep that comes up to my job to check in on things. This used to be a female sales rep so it wasn't a problem. They recently hired someone new and I really just cannot stand the guy. So far I have not had to have lunch with him alone because my boss was along with him. I was just informed that he is coming up and it's customary to have the lunch somewhere when the sales rep comes up.
I was trying to think of a way to tell him that I don't want to have lunch without it coming off as weird. I don't want to say anything about my husband and his issues and just kind of wanted some advice. Having lunch with another man is a guaranteed giant trigger and It's somewhat against my will because I don't really want to have lunch with him, it's just what they do when they visit. Can I just say I don't want to have lunch sorry. I feel like I need an explanation though.
Logged
It's not the future you are afraid of, it's repeating the past that makes you anxious.
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
Vindi
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: Living together
Posts: 674
Re: Lunch
«
Reply #1 on:
February 06, 2014, 12:33:32 PM »
GO WITH your gut and say you don't want to have lunch... . i think in the workplace scene, you do have choices, its not a *must* that you go to lunch... . you could skip all the lunch stuff and just have a meeting in the office or what not. I hope this goes well for you for saying no... . as for your hubby, is he a very jealous type and would not understand if you went to lunch with a man, being business only?
Logged
Cloudy Days
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 1095
Re: Lunch
«
Reply #2 on:
February 06, 2014, 02:36:48 PM »
Well, I sent an email saying I was going to skip lunch. I don't think it is a big deal that I not go out to lunch. I've went to lunch with older bosses in the past but they were twice my age so it wasn't a big deal to my husband and he also had met them and had lunch with one of them with me.
This is not quite the same because the guy is the same age as my husband, my husband is extremely jealous and I haven't really figured out how to deal with it in terms of boundaries. His biggest trigger is me cheating on him, or you know him thinking I am cheating on him and he specifically asked me not to have dinner with a man alone ever. I can talk to the sales rep at my work without having lunch with him. It's just out of the ordinary not to have lunch so I would like to have an excuse for saying no, other than my husband doesn't approve. I guess I don't need to it's just me being uncomfortable with the entire situation. I'm so shy it's not funny, and this job just pushes me to my limits so I'm always stressed out, when someone else probably wouldn't be.
Logged
It's not the future you are afraid of, it's repeating the past that makes you anxious.
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Lunch
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...