Lunch

[Cloudy Days]

My husband over and over again has requested that I not have lunch alone with another man. I am ok with this because it's not something I really care to do. However, every now and then there is a sales rep that comes up to my job to check in on things. This used to be a female sales rep so it wasn't a problem. They recently hired someone new and I really just cannot stand the guy. So far I have not had to have lunch with him alone because my boss was along with him. I was just informed that he is coming up and it's customary to have the lunch somewhere when the sales rep comes up.

I was trying to think of a way to tell him that I don't want to have lunch without it coming off as weird. I don't want to say anything about my husband and his issues and just kind of wanted some advice. Having lunch with another man is a guaranteed giant trigger and It's somewhat against my will because I don't really want to have lunch with him, it's just what they do when they visit. Can I just say I don't want to have lunch sorry. I feel like I need an explanation though.

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Vindi]

GO WITH your gut and say you don't want to have lunch... . i think in the workplace scene, you do have choices, its not a *must* that you go to lunch... . you could skip all the lunch stuff and just have a meeting in the office or what not. I hope this goes well for you for saying no... . as for your hubby, is he a very jealous type  and would not understand if you went to lunch with a man, being business only?

[Cloudy Days]

Well, I sent an email saying I was going to skip lunch. I don't think it is a big deal that I not go out to lunch. I've went to lunch with older bosses in the past but they were twice my age so it wasn't a big deal to my husband and he also had met them and had lunch with one of them with me.

This is not quite the same because the guy is the same age as my husband, my husband is extremely jealous and I haven't really figured out how to deal with it in terms of boundaries. His biggest trigger is me cheating on him, or you know him thinking I am cheating on him and he specifically asked me not to have dinner with a man alone ever. I can talk to the sales rep at my work without having lunch with him. It's just out of the ordinary not to have lunch so I would like to have an excuse for saying no, other than my husband doesn't approve. I guess I don't need to it's just me being uncomfortable with the entire situation. I'm so shy it's not funny, and this job just pushes me to my limits so I'm always stressed out, when someone else probably wouldn't be.